(uplifting music)
(joyful music)
(record scratches)
- Welcome back to "The Dish" with me, Michael Scott.
Now, Discrete was not so discreet last night.
She was caught in a Hollywood hotel room,
a pretty swanky one at that,
with her head of security, Mr. Jessie Rogers.
Get a room, guys.
(blender whirring)
- Jessie, listen.
Discrete's manager is trying to skip out on our payments.
- Nothing happened, you know that.
- But they still blame us for the leak.
- It's a grenade, Mike, jump on it.
- [Mike] You need to tell Noelle.
- I tried to call her, she's not answering.
I will tell her when she gets home.
- [Mike] You're doing it again.
- What?
- Putting off what you know you shouldn't be putting off.
- It was a mistake.
She will understand.
- Not with the way things
have been going with you two lately.
- You're more concerned than...
- Jessie?
Jessie, can you hear me?
- I'll call you back.
(Noelle grunts)
What's going on?
(Noelle grunts)
- You need to leave!
- Honey!
- [Noelle] I can't believe you!
You're a cheat like my father!
You're not staying here.
You're, no way.
Where's that stuff?
- Honey, this isn't what it looks like!
I didn't do anything, trust me!
I did not do any of this!
- Take your stuff and go.
Fore!
- Are you kidding me?
Stop it!
- You humiliated me!
And embarrassed us!
- Trust me, nothing happened!
It's not what it looks like!
- What are you...
Oh, you're here?
- This is my house!
- Honey, I'm gonna get the shotgun.
We'll get-cha.
- You better leave before she gets back.
You know what?
- Honey, not my clubs!
- Yard sale!
- Nothing happened!
- Anyway, we caught up with Discrete outside Studio B,
where she was recording her new album, "Heat is Hot."
- [Reporter] Discrete, Discrete, we've got some questions.
Discrete, hey, did you sleep
with your body guard Jessie Rogers?
- A good girl never kisses and tells,
but let's just say when I'm alone with him,
I'm safe and secure, and I have been for months.
- [Reporter] Oh, come on, that's not a real answer.
We wanna know, yes or no?
- A picture's worth 1,000 words, isn't it?
- [Reporter] Oh, oh, come on!
Hey, hey!
- Kidding me?
She's just lying!
- They cropped this photo.
- Oh, come on!
- No, no, no, they doctored this photo!
Look, I was standing right here.
This photo is faked.
Why they always cutting out a brother?
- Call Tillman, our lawyer, okay?
They can't just fake a photo like that.
That has to be illegal.
Find the real photo.
- You got it. (phone ringing)
- [Reporter] So Vicky, if you had the chance,
would you sleep with Jessie Rogers?
- Noelle, honey? - Months!
- No, no, honey, she is lying.
She is lying through her teeth!
- Messing around?
Exactly what does that entail?
- Honey, absolutely nothing, I promise you!
- You know what?
I realize, I know that it's been a little rough between us.
I get that.
But this, I mean this has humiliated me!
Carrie's teacher came out to see if I was okay
and then her classmates asked her
if she knew Discrete and if she could get them tickets!
- Will you just give me a few minutes to figure this out?
- No, I'm not gonna let you just push this off, Jessie.
I'm filing for divorce tomorrow.
I saw my dad do this to my mom,
and they tried to work it out, but it doesn't work!
- Noelle?
- I'd go see her.
- No, no, if she doesn't trust me, why should I?
- Because she's worth fighting for.
- Find that picture.
(lighthearted music)
(people chattering)
- [Noelle] You know what I mean?
- Who invites 400 guests?
- Oh, it's a walk in the park,
but we should have charged more.
Okay, there's only two hours left, so let's move it, people!
- She locked the door.
- Oh, another runaway bride.
Sandy, I understand Mindy has a case of the cold feet.
- I told you this would happen.
- I know, Jack, you're always right.
- It should be fine.
She's marrying a really great guy.
- You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna break down that door,
and I'm gonna drag her to the alter.
- Jack! - If you do,
she'll never come out.
Just give me a minute.
- Are you gonna give her the speech?
- The key?
(Mindy sobbing)
- This is my second box.
Tell me I'll be happy, that Michael will take care of me
and I'll never be lonely.
Does he really love me?
- You know, every day you spend with Michael,
good and bad, and every night you sleep in his arms
and every time you work
through a seemingly impossible obstacle.
It's those times where your love will blossom.
Love is like a good wine, it only gets better with time.
If you climb out that window right now,
you are never gonna know how perfect Michael is for you.
- [Man] My man.
(phone ringing)
- Hello.
- Yo, Jessie!
- Hey, what's up, man?
- Listen, just finished end of year, made a little profit.
You don't usually miss that.
- Yeah, well, Noelle and Carrie are coming up to the cabin.
I just wanna make sure everything's ready for them.
- [Mike] You've been gone two months.
- There's a lot to do.
- Tillman still advises
that you give up your lawsuit against TVT,
and the unknown photographer.
He's trying to stop you from losing more money.
- Yeah.
- It's been two years since the divorce, everything is done.
Maybe it's time you moved on with your life, bro.
- Thanks for your advice, Mike.
I'll talk to you later.
- Take care of yourself.
- Using the best photographers and videographer,
we don't just capture the wedding,
we preserve it for generations to come.
- And it's not out of place, her condition?
- Honestly, it happened to me nearly 15 years ago.
Uh, listen, I'd like you to sit with Hannah
and go over some locations.
The Howard Hotel ballroom is to die for, start there, okay?
- Thank you. - All right.
- Okay, so here's the paperwork from Keller
defining the conditions of the cabin.
You just need to get Jessie to sign it.
- Oh, that'll take a small miracle.
- Noelle, the IRS called again.
- Did you direct them to Keller?
- I did, but Keller still needs to be paid
and so does Hannah, and so do I.
We are three days late on payroll.
The list of people we owe money to is just...
Oh, Robbie quit.
- He quit? - He wanted to find,
quote, "a real job."
- Mm-hm.
- We need to deal with this.
- Um, before they leave, get a down payment.
- Right, oh, and Noelle...
- Oh, ah, Flynn!
- Noelle.
- [Noelle] Oh.
Hey.
- Ah!
For you.
They're from a crop of my roses that are engineered
to smell like a popular fragrance.
I'm always enchanted when we're together.
- Mm enchanting.
- Well, that's what I said.
Oh, would you like some champagne?
- Um, actually, can you put those on water, please?
- Ah, soda water with a penny, they'll last longer.
- I thought that you had to be in Hong Kong or something.
- Oh, I, I finished early
and wanted to catch you before Christmas.
- Oh, why's that?
- It's on the wrong finger.
Our engagement ring.
- Oh, um, oh, mm-hm.
I'm just not ready to make the announcement yet.
- Well, why not?
I mean, don't you remember Paris, hm?
The magic?
- Yeah, um, I was soul-searching.
- And I am your soul mate.
Noelle. - Mm-hm.
- I can take care of you, and if we get married now,
we can vacation before our busy seasons.
I mean, the spring is horrible for both of us.
I mean, you've got your weddings, and my roses--
- Mom!
- Oh, Carrie.
- I've been invited to a Christmas party tomorrow.
- By the Watson's girl,
and you remember the last time that she went.
A boy tried to kiss her.
- Well, you make it sound like it was my fault.
- You let her go.
- Emma's dad will be on guard all day,
and Emma said the girls can sleep over after the party!
- Oh, a Christmas party, how fun.
- [Carrie] A white elephant.
- A white what?
- [Claudell] Oh, in my day, they called it a Yankee Swap.
- Listen, honey,
your father is expecting us tomorrow morning.
- I already called him.
He said okay, if you're okay.
- Really?
- I wouldn't have wasted my time on that phone call.
- Mother.
- Don't be mad at Grandma just 'cause Dad left us.
- What are you filling her head with?
- What?
She watched him leave.
- You are egging this on!
- You should have listened to me.
- Oh, I hear it now.
- No, hearing and listening are two different things.
- Can I please, Mom?
- I can never please Mom.
- If you'll just excuse me, um,
I think I may have a solution.
Why don't I take Claudell and Carrie to Mammoth
in my G5 on Christmas Eve?
- Private jet, how elegant.
- And that way, Carrie can go to her party and Noelle,
you and Jessie can discuss
whatever you need to discuss with no distractions.
- That's a marvelous idea.
Cheers.
- It's been one of the driest years
in the history of Mammoth.
The resort is making snow for the first time in 10 years.
However, that may all change tomorrow,
when a low-pressure system is expected to move in.
(phone line beeping)
(phone ringing)
- [Carrie] You've reached Carrie, I might call you back.
- Hi, Carrie, it's your dad.
Hey, I'm really looking forward to seeing you, okay?
Um, give me a call.
Love you, bye.
(phone beeps)
(soft music)
Mike, yeah, it's Jessie.
Call Tillman, tell him to drop the case.
- What?
Honey, I don't want a turkey neck.
(phone buzzing)
- [Jessie] Hi, you got Jessie Rogers.
Please leave a message.
(birds chirping)
(light relaxing music)
- Whoo, good morning, sleepyhead.
- Tasha?
- The ride up tied me in knots.
- Um, what are you doing here?
- Oh, a friend of mine from Vegas came up to ski,
so I thought it'd be a nice Christmas surprise.
Surprise!
- Well, I, I'm surprised.
Is that incense?
- Yeah.
- Oh, I'm allergic. - You're so serious.
- [Jessie] Oh, okay.
- Oh, that's gonna make it worse.
- [Jessie] There we go.
- Aren't you excited to see me?
- Yeah, yeah,
it's just that Noelle and Carrie are coming up,
so-- - I get to meet Carrie?
Oh, I'm so excited I came up.
- Oh, okay!
- It's been way too long.
(car horn honks)
Oh, who's that?
- Uh, hold on one second.
- Hey, hey!
Where's Carrie?
- Carrie will be up tomorrow afternoon with my mother...
What is that smell?
- Uh, incense.
- You hate incense.
- No, he's allergic.
- Who's that?
- I'm Tasha.
- That's Tasha.
- Oh, this is your idea of a vacation with Carrie?
- No, no, that's a surprise.
- Surprise!
- Well, according to the agreement,
the cabin is mine starting today.
- Yeah, well, I didn't sign that agreement
and I'm not gonna sign that agreement until I have Carrie.
- Yeah, well, she played a trick, Jessie.
- And that's my fault?
- Well, if the shoe fits.
- Seeing Carrie is like all Jessie talked about
for like three weeks.
- Ta, Tanya?
- It's Tasha.
- Who are you?
- Uh, we met at a conference in Vegas.
- I'm a gymnast!
- Oh, is that code for stripper?
- I was alternate number three
on the Olympic gymnastics team.
- Oh, alternate number three.
Get a room.
- They're all booked up, it's Christmastime. you know that.
- It's not my problem.
- Well, you know what,
my problem is that I don't have Carrie
and if I don't have Carrie, I'm staying here!
- Namaste!
- Hey, my stuff is in there!
- She's totally pretty.
- [Noelle] Momma-stay!
- She likes to throw stuff.
(upbeat music)
- Your weird shaking foot is making me uncomfortable.
- I'm in a hurry.
- This is gonna take some time.
- Look, in order to close this deal I need to assure Jurgen
that I can ship into the United States legally.
- It's not possible at this moment.
- Then he is gonna go with Nicholson.
- I know.
- So find me a solution.
- Solution numero uno,
hand your company over to an American.
- Never gonna happen.
- If there's another way, I'll find it,
but it's gonna take time.
- At $250 every quarter--
- $300, I'm worth it.
(phone ringing)
Hello. - Hi, babe.
- I'm in a meeting. - Sorry, I'm at the market.
I'm just wondering what I should make for dinner.
(child screams)
Kyle, don't hit your brother.
- I want it! - It's mine!
Now give it back.
- [Gabe] You haven't taken a shower for 10 years!
- [Ryan] Guys, that's it, full lockdown.
No TV tonight.
(kids groaning)
Give me those!
- Am I paying for that?
- Meter's running.
(upbeat music)
* Everybody's telling me what to do *
- Whoo!
- You know what, you have no toilet paper, as usual.
I'm hitting the mountain.
- Can we go skiing, too?
- Hmm, one minute.
* Nobody understands
(girls giggling)
- So, I gave Justin my number,
and he texted me back like two hours later.
- No way.
- Those celebrity parties are so dumb.
- Are not.
- You pay like $500 for a pic.
- Yeah, he probably pays someone to text you.
- Like his mom.
- Oh.
- It was him.
(upbeat music)
- Turn it up, I love Discrete's new song.
* What to do
- Hey, Carrie, is your dad still Discrete's boyfriend?
- They broke up, she's still calling him.
- Did you meet her?
- Sure, lots of times.
(phone ringing)
* Nobody understands
- Carrie, your dad's calling you.
- Ask him if he could get us tickets
to the Discrete show next week.
- Hello? - Hey, Carrie,
how are you, sweetheart, it's your Dad.
- You haven't called me in a week.
- I call you every day, you just don't pick up.
- I have school.
- Not at nine o'clock at night.
- I didn't want to miss the party
and Mom said it was okay for me to go.
Grandma and Flynn and I will be there tomorrow.
You can ground me then.
- Flynn, who's Flynn?
- Flynn McGhee, something like that.
He's mom's friend.
- Burgers are ready.
- Look, I gotta go, I'll see you tomorrow.
- I, I love you.
- Hey, Jessie, I'm ready to go skiing!
- Jessie. - Mike, hey, it's Jessie.
Listen, I need you to run a background check
on somebody named Flynn McGhee.
- [Mike] Flynn McGhee?
Sounds like a cartel.
You sure that's his real name?
- Yeah, that's his real name.
(lighthearted music)
- Ah, namaste.
- Ha!
- Oh, ho-ho, it's the third alternate.
- Ah, a snowboard,
aren't you a little old to be snowboarding?
- Whoo!
- Aren't you a little old to be alternate number three?
- Well, this is a six-minute lift.
This is gonna be fun.
- Do you hate me?
- Hate you?
I don't even know you.
- I'm not stupid.
- Really?
Yeah, how long you been dating?
- We're not dating, we're more friends with benefits.
- What? - Um--
- You know, Jessie would be a great catch,
if the time was right.
Drove all the way from L.A. to Vegas just to bring me soup.
I was sick.
- He brought you cold soup?
- Oh, no, it was canned.
- Yeah, what kind?
- It was yellow pea.
- I don't know what to say.
(Jessie laughs nervously)
- You know, I read a book once--
- Oh, goody for you.
- Yeah, it stated nothing was a coincidence.
Like when I was given third alternate in the Olympics
because I wasn't ready.
My flexibility wasn't 100%.
But now, I can wrap my ankles behind my head.
- She can, it's kind of impressive.
- I'm so happy for you.
- I thought you would be.
- It took work.
- Um, exactly what other kind of work do you do in Vegas?
- Mm.
- 40 more seconds, it looks like.
- Oh, yeah?
What is this, a prison sentence?
- I don't wanna fight, okay?
- There's not gonna be a fight.
This big, tough soldier
doesn't know what's worth fighting for.
- [Tasha] Whoo!
- Watch out for the ice, guys!
(Noelle screams)
- [Noelle] Oh!
- Hey, you all right?
- No! - I'm fine.
- You okay? - Oh!
- What you okay? - Yeah, yeah.
- You, are you sure?
- I'm fine.
- You sure?
- Yeah. - Okay.
Hey Tasha, I got you.
(playful music)
- [Attendant] This is for you, sir.
- Oh, thank you.
Flynn McGhee. - Flynn.
I just got a phone call
from a lovely sounding immigration officer
named Diane Rivera.
- Is your meter running? - Always.
- Then get to it.
- Oh, okay, you're being deported.
- What?
When?
- The day after Christmas, it's when your visa expires.
- I thought we got an extension.
- Oh, yeah, that got denied.
- Solutions.
- Flynn, I-- - Solutions.
- Okay, uh, off the top of my head, solutions.
Spit balling here.
- Yes?
- There are none, because when they revoke your visa,
you have to leave the country.
- Get married?
- Not to me.
- Noelle. - Oh, okay, well,
so what's the hold-up?
- She's hesitant about when.
I mean, she plans weddings.
It's a big deal.
- And she has a company that's three years behind in taxes.
- How do you know that?
- I looked into her. - Why?
- You pay me to watch your back.
I was watching your back.
Ryan!
- I just farted for like a whole minute.
- That's disgusting.
Santa doesn't bring presents to bad boys.
Don't come crying to me
when there's nothing under the tree, okay?
Ryan!
Flynn.
- Yeah.
- If you leave the country,
you're gonna lose out on a $6 million contract.
- Ah, eight million.
- Not after my cut. - Yeah, baby.
- All right.
I'll tell her the truth.
- As your lawyer, I advise you to lie.
Marry her.
I'll draft a pre-nup, it'll all work itself out in the end.
But just do it quickly, okay, because you have three days.
Okay, okay, bye.
Ryan. - Uh-huh.
- When did Gabe lose his teeth?
- Yeah, about four days ago.
Anything else? - No.
- Okay, good.
See your Gabe is back here,
he farted for like a minute, it was hilarious.
- It's still disgusting.
- Thanks so much.
Um, oh, could you throw me my trunks?
(lighthearted music)
(wind whooshing)
- Storm's getting worse.
- [Noelle] You still don't shop.
- It's easier eating out.
- Oh, but not as healthy.
- You think Carrie's gonna have trouble getting in?
- No, Flynn's resourceful, they'll be fine.
- Who's Flynn?
- He's my friend.
Where's your friend?
- She went ice skating.
- Oh, look at that.
One thing I can always count on,
is you having a good bottle of wine.
- Wine is like a good love.
- I'm gonna go out for dinner.
- I can't believe Maureen took the snifter set
and left me with the bag of diapers.
- Well, that's how a Yankee Swap works.
- Yeah, right, but you know what,
she uses them because she didn't shop any further
than her bathroom cupboard.
- Oh, Claudell, come on.
- Right.
- Miss Claudell?
- Who wants to know?
- I have a ride to your home.
(upbeat music)
- A new man friend?
- Uh, yeah.
He was supposed to come tonight,
but a Yankee Swap isn't his thing.
So, goodnight.
- Well, I was in the neighborhood and, uh,
I thought I'd drop in.
- How sweet, and you're lying.
- There was a couple of questions
that I'd like to ask you about Noelle.
- Should I say no?
- Ah.
You know, I was hoping that, with your help,
maybe increase my chances.
- Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?
- Marriage.
- Oh.
That's good.
- That it is.
(glasses clinking)
(joyful music)
- Are you ready to order?
- Oh, yeah, I'm just gonna have the Hawaiian pizza.
- Sure thing, honey.
- And you should see, when I lift my leg like this, wow!
Right?
Oh, hey, Jessie. - Hey, hey.
Told you she was flexible.
- I'm so happy for you. - Whoo!
- [Noelle] What are you doing here?
- Tasha called and wanted to get something to eat, huh?
- Hm. - What are the odds?
- Well, it's the only place in town.
- [Jessie] Mm-hm.
- I have a Hawaiian pizza on the way.
- Can I get y'all a drink?
- Ah, two glasses of Merlot.
- [Jessie] Is that the cabin paperwork?
- I sent it in an email.
- I was on vacation.
- Oh, yeah, right, with the third alternate to the Olympics.
- Okay, that, I didn't expect for her to,
it was a surprise. - Yeah, well,
her skills as a peppermint twist
are not good influence on our daughter.
She's half your age. - Since when do you care?
- Who says I do? - You do.
- Do what? - You care.
- Who says I do? - You do.
- I just think you need something more sophisticated.
- Like you? - Just keep it simple.
- I want simple. - You want escape.
- Escape from what? - Do you want a list?
- Well, put your name at the tippy-top.
- How about I put a six-letter word up there?
A-F-F-A-I-R.
- Never happened.
- Be honest. - I am.
- Liar.
- You just can't admit it. - What?
- That I did not have an affair.
You can't admit that! - I don't have to,
because you did. - A picture is not proof.
- Mm-hm. - You just can't be wrong.
- Oh, 'cause I'm always right.
- Why do I even let you do this?
- [Noelle] What, get into your head?
- Yes, give me the cabin paperwork,
I'll sign it right now. - No, Jessie, no.
- Hey, these are your bills.
- Here. - Jeez.
- [Noelle] Here, Jessie.
- Are you doing all right?
- Look, you'll see here
on the third line-- - Noelle, hey.
- Huh?
- You doing all right?
- Yeah.
You'll see here on the third line,
that it stipulates odds and evens.
I get the cabin at Christmas in the even years,
you get the odd.
Hello?
- Hello. - Are you getting this?
- Ah, yes, I am.
Are you doing okay?
- I'm fine.
- Well, I'm not so sure.
'Cause I looked at your bills, and it looks like--
- Oh, no, um... - What happened?
- Uh, it's Pastor Ed, uh,
you know how he gets when we--
- Noelle, is that you?
Hah-ho, my Lord, it is you.
You know, I was just saying to Jessie the other day,
how great it would be to see you around.
Lord, the first couple I married on the hill.
You know, I have married 366 couples
and they all still together.
- Is that possible?
- You all need to reconcile, give me back my perfect streak.
Lord said divorce is no good.
- He said that?
- Oh, there's a lot he said.
He just forgot to write it down.
- Oh.
- I'll have the same as the lovely lady, please.
Yo, there's this, this place in Edinburgh,
has the most exquisite red wine.
- Robert loved wine, he was a fanatic about it.
- Have you been without your husband long?
- Long enough.
You know, when you lose someone that you've spent more
than half your life with
it's really hard to pick up and move on.
- Were you well taken care of?
- Yeah, he was a good man...
Until the affair.
You know, he died of natural causes.
He did.
It just hasn't been so easy moving on and handling things.
- Well, I would like to change that for you and Noelle.
- I've been around long enough to know a man in need.
And a man of your stature,
I cannot imagine what you need from either myself or Noelle.
She's a handful, man.
She's got more problems than the "Daily News."
- Claudell, you're a clever woman.
And I assure you, I will not pull the wool over your eyes.
But I have needs.
And Noelle and I have been engaged for well over two months,
I just, I think it's time we get married.
- I'm all for that, baby.
Pay her bills.
(glasses clinking)
- [Tasha] Totally.
- His foot was broke, in a cast, and he was on crutches.
But that wasn't gonna stop Jessie
from racing Mike Donnell in the downhill, no, sir.
So, he comes through that door,
and tells Fran to pour him a shot of whiskey.
He drinks the whiskey,
then proceeds to cut off his cast with a hacksaw.
- Oh, my God, you could have hurt yourself.
- I, I was fine.
- Now, he could only reach halfway down the cast,
but nobody was gonna help him,
so we just watched him squirm
and try to reach the last few inches of that cast
around his toes.
- Well, how did he get it off?
- Uh, that's when we first met.
I was here on a ski trip with some friends.
- Did you get it off?
- Oh...
- Not only did they get it off,
but the next morning Jessie won that downhill race
on a half a bottle of whiskey and a broken foot.
- Now, you're making it sound much worse than it was.
'Cause that cast was due to come off in a week anyway.
- Oh, really?
I had to drive you back to L.A.
just to get a new one put on.
- When was this?
- 14 years ago.
- Yeah, things were simpler then.
- Well, I best be going.
- And I have to pee, so.
- I want my perfect record back.
- Do you remember that cafe we stopped at
on our way back to L.A.?
- We had cherry pie, your favorite.
- Yeah, only to find out you hate cherries.
- I dislike them. - Hate.
- Come on.
- Well, then explain to me
why you ate an entire piece of cherry pie.
- I guess I wasn't ready for the trip to end.
Can I read these before I sign them?
- Of course.
(knocking on door)
- I am sorry, Officer, about the noise.
We asked the girls to keep it down, but they're 13.
- I'm here to pick up Carrie Rogers.
- Carrie!
- Hey, Carrie, is your dad back with Discrete?
There's a limo outside.
- Uh, yeah, we're gonna go spend Christmas with her.
See to my things.
- You guys are her friend?
Really?
Bag taken care of.
(wind whooshing)
(dramatic music)
- The airport and all roads going in and out
are closed for the next 24 hours.
And to make matters worse,
the fuel trucks were unable to make it up to Mammoth
causing a gas shortage.
- Hey, is your cellphone working?
- Cell service is down.
- You slept on the couch?
- Tasha has the guestroom.
- I don't know when Carrie's flight is coming in.
- She's not gonna make it in tonight.
- That's right, the folks at Mammoth are snowed in.
Enjoy the skiing.
- Jurgen, please, there is no problem,
the roses will be delivered to your customers on time.
Yeah, I know that's next week, I...
I'm so sorry, I've been waiting for this call all morning.
- Oh, it's okay, don't mind us.
- Jurgen, no, that is not the truth.
I know, but everything will be legal and final.
- Carrie... - You have no worries.
- What time did you go to bed?
- You don't sleep at sleepovers.
- Oh, I stand corrected.
- Jurgen, listen, you need to hear me, okay?
Jurgen, just hear what I'm saying, please?
Just hold on, Jurgen, just hold on a sec.
- Carrie, close it. - Now I can't hear you!
Jurgen.
- Carrie, roll the window up.
- It's nice outside,
not so stuffy. - Wait a second, Jurgen.
Could you please roll the window up?
Jurgen, I...
No, I, listen.
Jurgen, I can't, I can't hear you, hold on.
I've asked you nicely, just please, roll it up?
- Carrie.
- Okay, listen to me, I'll...
Hello?
Hello...
Well, that's great, just great,
and that was an international call.
So what school did you say you went to?
- St. Carolina's Girls Prep.
- Very fine school, I sent Noelle there.
- Oh, so it's a boarding school, I presume.
- No, no, the girls live at home,
which is why I moved in with Noelle.
So I can better take care of my Carrie.
- Ah, hello, Noelle. - Flynn?
- It's your mother.
Yeah.
- [Noelle] The cell service is spotty.
- Well, is everything okay?
- [Noelle] The Mammoth Airport, it's closed.
- What? - There's a blizzard!
- Noelle, no, honey-- - I'm not sure what--
- Noelle, can you...
I hate cellphones.
- What, is she okay?
- The Mammoth Airport is closed because of snow.
- We're stuck in L.A. for Christmas?
- Oh, I hope not.
- We better not be, Mom took all the presents with her.
- Oh, Carrie, I think we have bigger issues than that.
- Than presents?
- Okay, ladies, look.
I told you I'd get you to Mammoth
and I'll get you to Mammoth.
Driver.
- What can I do for you, boss man?
- Can you get us as close to Mammoth as you can?
- Sure, we gotta make a store run.
I'll need a bottle of bear repellent, honey,
and some sour Skittles.
(wind whooshing)
- Storm keeps getting worse.
- I'm so worried about Carrie,
I should have never let her go to that party.
- Well, if you had called me.
- Oh, come on, Jessie,
it's not like you've been around lately.
- You haven't exactly made it easy.
- What do you mean?
I've given you holidays and school break.
- Oh, yeah, but she chose camp.
- [Noelle] Oh, did she?
- Yes, and the things that you've given me,
do you take into account the times where I showed up
and suddenly plans change, like Christmas and Thanksgiving?
- Oh, my mother was the root of all that.
- Well, you allowed it to happen.
- No, I didn't. - Yes, you did.
- Oh, my God, would you stop?
I mean, it takes two to Tango,
and she was just as embarrassed
as I was when all of those photos
were plastered all over the supermarket.
All the kids teased her for weeks.
- I need air.
- Fine!
I'll just find my own way off this mountain to Carrie.
- [Jessie] Go ahead, that's great.
- Hey, Mom, do you want to hear
some Country Western song titles?
- Uh-huh.
- I ain't never gone to bed with an ugly women
but I woke up with a few.
It's hard to kiss the lips
that chew off my butt all day long.
She's looking better with every beer.
Never took her to a dogfight 'cause I'm afraid she'd win.
- Wow.
- [Carrie] That bag had my cellphone,
clothes and other things.
- [Claudell] Carrie,
you shouldn't have left it at the party.
- [Devon] Anything I can do for you, Miss Carrie?
- [Carrie] No.
- Thank God and Greyhound you're gone.
- Okay.
(phone ringing)
It's Christmas, Flynn.
It's Christmas.
- [Flynn] Technically, it's the day before.
- What did the snail say
when he jumped on the turtle's back?
- Ryan!
- Whee!
- Ryan!
- [Flynn] Agh, that hurt my ear.
- [Ashley] What do you want?
- [Flynn] I need your help.
Everything at Mammoth is shut down.
- [Ashley] Your problem.
- [Flynn] Our problem, where's the pre-nup?
- [Ashley] I'll finish it today,
but we need to go through it before she signs.
- [Flynn] Did you miss the part about the blizzard?
I don't have phone service.
Jurgen's about to drop our contract.
I need this pre-nup tonight.
I'm coming to pick you up.
(Gabe farts)
- [Kyle] Ow, Gabe, my face is melting.
- [Ryan] Do you need to change your shorts?
- Maybe. - Ryan!
- Hun, what's up, I got a full-on attack going on.
What's going on?
Butt explosions, everything going.
Don't, no!
Leave that player alone.
Go ahead, hun, what?
- I'm going to work. - Okay.
- I may or may not be back on Christmas.
- Okay, copy that.
- I love you. - Love you, too.
Not you, Ron.
Ron, shut up.
- Pick me up.
(wind whooshing)
(upbeat music)
(bell dings)
(bell dinging)
- Is there any way down this mountain?
- I'm sorry.
There's nothing with enough fuel
to get you down the mountain.
Our snowmobiles are all empty.
- I'll buy more gas.
- Look, lady, even if you had the gas, which you don't,
I had a friend try to go down the mountain in a blizzard.
- And?
- Notice how I said had a friend?
(record scratches)
- All right, come on,
there's got to be a way down this hill.
- So, Flynn, how come you never told us you had a sister?
- Uh, well...
She's adopted.
Yeah, my parents,
they saved her from a life of drugs and walking the streets.
- Yes.
- Her mother was a circus performer.
And her dad, oh, a horrible accident.
He got his leg blown off by a grenade.
They called him Stumpy.
- Well, it's very nice to meet you, Maggie.
(chips crunching)
- Oh, likewise.
I've heard such wonderful things
about you and your daughter.
- I'm sure they were all fabrications.
You know, lies.
- I know what fabrication means.
- Could you do me a favor
and just close your mouth when you chew?
- Teach her that one, and you've won Father of the Year.
- He's not my father.
- Carrie, be careful what you say, because you never know--
- Uh, you know I, uh,
I got you a little something here from store
when we, when we stopped.
It's a crossword book.
You know, when I was your age,
I was really into the puzzles.
Yeah, I became quite a--
- Cruciverbalist.
Cruciverbalist.
- Cruciverbalist.
Anyhow, um, you can consider it an early Christmas gift.
- Don't limos have TV?
- Well, I preferred refine myself when I'm in the car.
- Since when?
- Claudell, can I please borrow your phone?
- Sure, honey.
- All right, come on,
there's got to be a way down this hill.
(phone ringing)
- Is that your cellphone?
- No, it can't be, I don't have service.
- Nobody has service,
unless they got the towers working again.
Hey, everyone, the network is back up!
- Mom?
- It's Carrie.
- Is that your mother?
- I've been waiting for this call all day.
Mom, where are you?
- It's gonna be like that, huh?
- Where am I?
Carrie, where are you?
- We're in the limo with Flynn and his sister Maggie.
- Sister?
- Uh, can I talk to her?
- Yeah, so the party was really fun.
- That's, that's great, honey.
- Yeah, Emi's dad grilled us food and we sat in the spa.
Tommy and Haley are going out now.
- I thought you liked Tommy.
- No, I like Russ.
- You like no one.
You're too young,
and I've been telling your mother that for years!
- Agh!
- Did you see Dad yet?
- Oh, Carrie, fuel to the fire.
- Yes, I did, and we are very upset
with that little game you pulled.
- What game?
- The one with the voicemail and the phone call.
- I didn't actually leave a message, either, so.
- Where are you?
- Oh, we're just, you know--
(phone beeping) - What?
- I want delivery.
- Are you with Flynn?
- Yeah, he's right here.
- Carrie.
- Five cheese pizzas.
- Carrie, hold on. - Mom!
- Yes, yes, I'll hold.
- Flynn!
- Hello, my dear.
I just wanted to let you know
that you have no need to fret.
- No need at all.
- Flynn, where are you?
- I'm in the limo
on my way to Mammoth.
We're on the road.
- Okay, Flynn, hold on.
Carrie?
- Mom, I wasn't done talking to you.
- Clever girl.
- Look, Mom, I really need you to be here.
- Wait, Carrie. - Hello, Mom?
- Carrie, I'm losing you.
- Mom, I can't hear you.
Mom? - Hello?
Hello?
Pizza Palace?
- Wait.
- We're doomed.
- I lost her.
- Well, at least she knows we're coming.
- Flynn? - Yes.
- Darling, how do you intend to get us to Mammoth?
- Ah, Claudell, I'm an importer of goods
to many different countries.
This storm is but a wee challenge to me.
We will be arriving tonight, with bells on,
I'll tell you that.
(chips crunching)
- [Claudell] Oh, Carrie.
- Oh.
Oh.
Hi. - Hi.
I was getting a wax and saw you.
- Uh, huh?
- Look, I won't be in your way.
- Excuse me?
- With Jessie, I mean, it's obvious.
- Uh, you have lost me.
- He still loves you.
- Oh, is that what you think?
- That's what I know.
- What?
- Oh, come on, you don't see it?
- No, no, no, no.
You've got, you've mistaken love
for something else entirely.
- Or maybe you're just not capable of seeing it anymore.
- Well, I'm a wedding planner for a living.
I know all about love.
- Look, you might be smarter and older than me,
but at least I can see when someone has a broken heart,
and the reason why.
(upbeat music)
- [Carrie] We only stopped like 20 minutes ago.
- [Claudell] Carrie, the older you get,
the more stops you have to make.
- I know there's a storm coming.
I need to get on that mountain today.
- I've got Taite on it, but so far he's had no luck.
- Call him again. - Fine.
- She's driving me crazy.
(wind whooshing)
- [Ashley] Thank you, Taite, that'll work fine.
- Ah!
- Taite found a way up the mountain.
- And?
- Dog sleds.
- Interesting.
What about the pre-nup?
- I want three million on the Oregon deal.
- No. - Yes.
- Why?
- You demanded I come here, I'm here.
And besides, we're family.
- You gotta work on your accent.
- Come on, come on, come on.
Oh, okay, okay, agh, okay, okay!
No, no, don't sting me.
Come on, move, move, move!
Hate bees.
Swarm came after me. - You all right?
- We gotta get out of here, man!
Get in the car!
- [Flynn] Really?
In December?
Is everyone losing it?
(dogs barking)
- [Handler] Okay, let me show you how to drive this thing.
- [Flynn] That sounds good.
- To make 'em go, it's hike!
(girls laughing)
You're supposed to hold on!
- Ugh, I figured that much, thank you.
- Jessie?
Jessie, help me!
- Where'd you get a tree?
- Ugh, I stole it.
- What?
- Well, they're not gonna miss it.
- What, you stole a Christmas tree?
- Uh-huh.
Yeah, right there. - Okay, wait, hold on.
- Okay, all right.
- I cannot believe you stole a Christmas tree.
- Well, it was by a mailbox outside.
I thought it was garbage.
- Yeah, that's-- - I just don't want Carrie
to think that her dad forgot about Christmas.
- I didn't forget.
- Hold on a second. - I'm not, I can't--
- Oh! - Careful, careful.
- Okay, all right, sorry.
All right.
Wait, there.
Ah, now that's a tree.
- Have you been drinking? - Huh?
Oh, poquito.
There's more outside.
- More?
(dogs barking) - Hike, hike!
- [Handler] Ho, mush, mush!
Let's go, mush, mush, mush!
- The Millers didn't make it up here,
so I borrowed a few things.
- Why?
- [Noelle] For Carrie, of course.
- He can stay outside.
- Are you sure?
It's cold.
- Noelle.
- Ugh, do not Noelle me.
You always Noelle me and I don't like it.
I'm going to make this cabin a winter wonderland for Carrie
and you're standing in my way, so move.
- I made a mistake.
- Which one?
- I should have come to you right away
about that photo, but--
- Guilt got your tongue?
- No, I, I just thought it would be best
to let things cool down.
You threw all my stuff in the front yard.
- Oh, well, I was aiming for you.
- [Handler] Hike, hike!
Hee-yaw, hee-yaw!
- You're making a mess! - No.
- Can I help you? - My time
in the cabin, remember? - Can I help you, please?
- No, I don't need your help.
- [Handler] Hee-yaw, hee-yaw!
Be left, hoo-wah!
- [Ashley] I can't get any service!
- [Flynn] Keep trying!
- [Ashley] Nothing!
- [Handler] Lean right.
Hee-yaw, hee-yaw, hee-yaw!
- Watch out for that branch!
Chapstick?
- No, I'm good! - Oh, okay!
- [Handler] Lean left!
- Perfect, it's gonna be perfect!
Okay, now!
Did you remember to get her some presents?
- I was wrapping them right now.
- Well, at least, you didn't forget that.
- No, I didn't, this is ridiculous.
- There is nothing ridiculous about Santa, come on.
She's gonna love it, hold on to it.
Just hold on.
Keep holding it.
I can't wait, you do it.
- Noelle?
- Oh, my lips are frozen.
Carrie, my lips are frozen. - It's amazing!
- Oh, my lips!
My lips!
- Noelle, hold on.
- You know what?
Why'd you forget Christmas?
- I didn't forget Christmas.
- Uh-huh.
Well, you always left the decorating up to me.
- You told me to stay out of it.
- Well, you didn't do it right.
- Oh!
- [Handler] Ho, this is as far as we can go.
- What, we have to walk?
- [Handler] It's illegal to take the dog sleds into town.
- Come on, we'll hitch a ride the rest of the way!
(Ashley laughing)
What's so funny?
- You're gonna have to pay me so much money!
- Oh, put this here.
Oh...
- Oh, let me help you, come on.
- No, it's mistletoe. - I got it, I got it,
I got it, I got it.
I know what it is.
There.
- You smell good.
- I never wanted to lose you.
- You cheated.
- I did not.
- Liar.
- I promise.
- On everything that's holy?
- On my life.
- Well, then I better move before God strikes you.
- I would have to be lying.
- You are.
- I'm not.
(car horn honking)
- Did you hear that?
- Yeah.
Hey, hey!
- Mom, Mom!
- Hey!
- Oh!
- [Carrie] Mom, it was the worst.
Devon lost my phone, the car smelled like old socks.
Sorry, Dad.
- Oh, I miss you so much!
- [Claudell] Oh, could you hold your grandmother up?
- Noelle.
- I can't believe you got here.
- Ha, you have no idea what we went through to get here,
but here we are.
Oh, how rude of me.
Um, this is my adopted sister, Maggie McGhee.
- The pleasure's all mine.
- Ah, Flynn, I don't know what to say.
- Well, how about...
I do?
- What?
- We've been engaged for over two months
and it would be my honor if you'd allow me
to become the husband you never had.
I want you to marry me tomorrow.
- Tomorrow?
- Your mother and your daughter have already approved.
- I did not.
- And what could be more fitting than a woman named Noelle
getting married on Christmas Day?
- I...
I...
- I do.
(soft music)
- Dad? - Yeah, honey.
- Why is Santa in here?
- He's cold.
- It's, uh,
it's just not the...
The wedding I envision.
- Well, small wedding, big honeymoon.
You pick the place.
We'll go for one, two, three weeks, if you like.
And then we can have a big reception
in the Valley when we get back.
- But I'm, I just...
- Look, it's the slow season for both of us
and it's just gonna get crazy in the spring.
And we talked about this.
- It's gonna be a slow year.
- I know about your back taxes and your debt.
- Who told you? - Your mother.
- Oh, jeez.
She got to you, too.
- She told me that this wedding company is your dream
and if you had to close your doors, it would destroy you.
- She's right.
- Noelle, your mother loves you very much.
She just wants to see you happy.
I, I just want to see you happy.
I love you very much.
Don't let this slip away.
- Jessie, there's a big problem with my room.
There's girls undies in it.
- Hey, Jessie, I invited over some friends.
Oh, hi, you must be Jessie's grandma.
- Hi, I'm nothing of the sort.
- And you must be Carrie!
- Hi, Dad, can I use your phone?
- Who are you?
- Oh, Tasha, Jessie's friend.
- Friend?
- Yeah.
- Jessie.
- Dad, your phone.
- Jessie.
- Dad! - What?
Oh, uh, I'm sorry, honey.
My phone is in the kitchen.
- Well, it's, it's official.
I am pleased to announce
that we'll be getting married tomorrow.
- [Tasha] Oh, that's wonderful!
- Carrie, excuse me.
- I think that calls for a celebration.
It might be a little rough at first,
but I think it's exactly what my daughter needs.
- Well, thank you, Claudell.
Uh, I'm sorry, I haven't officially introduced myself.
My name's Flynn McGhee.
- I'm Carrie's father.
- Yeah, yeah, I know, and uh,
seeing as how you're practically family,
I'd like to invite you to the occasion tomorrow.
- Follow me.
- If I'm not back in five minutes, call 911.
You know the number?
- Jessie, come in, the water's perfect.
- Oh, you got a spa?
How wonderful.
- What is your game? - I'm not sure I know--
- Your game, okay?
You swoop in here with your limos and your G5s
and you sweep Noelle off her feet.
And she doesn't like to sweep.
Okay, believe me, I know her better than anybody.
- Is that right?
Then why did you get a divorce?
- That's our business, not yours.
- Well, that is true.
But I don't think you have to worry about me
making the same mistake.
I found that exhilarating.
I had movement even.
He's a very strapping man.
- In some states, stepdads can spank kids
and get away with it.
- That's not gonna happen.
- It might!
(car door shuts)
(engine starts)
Mom, seriously?
- I won't marry 'em if you tell me not to.
- Who am I to stand in their way?
- Her husband.
- Ex.
- You think a piece of paper and some black ink
make all the years of loving just go away?
- She changed.
- I've known you both for a long time.
And you're still the same stubborn people.
You're just angry.
- [Flynn] Would you like to watch some TV, maybe a movie?
- Hey, honey, you have any lotion?
My hands are so dry.
Oh, thank you.
So, she's down there watching a movie with Flynn.
He's trying so hard to be her friend.
- She's mad.
- She'll get over it.
- And what if she doesn't?
- She will, I talked to her.
- Why do you do that? - What?
- Undermine me.
- Well, I didn't think I was doing that.
- Yes, you did.
Damn it!
- Hey!
Noelle.
Noelle?
Honey, what's wrong?
- I'm just...
Not ready to get married.
- Why did you say yes?
- 'Cause he's handsome, he's perfect, he's rich.
He wants to take care of me.
Why'd you tell him about the taxes?
- I didn't.
- I'm out of tape.
- Boys, let me tell you why children really got coal...
- Do you like horror?
Uh, you can pick if you like.
- Whatever.
- You like "Freddy vs. Jason"?
That's a hell of a movie.
- Oh, I gotta hit the head.
- Jessie.
- Hey.
- It's over.
- What's over?
- Us, you still love your wife.
Stick it.
- What?
- Stick it, like in gymnastics,
to win over the judges, you have to stick it.
Look, it's not a coincidence that she came alone.
She came for you.
(soft music)
(phone ringing)
- [Flynn] Who's that?
- None-ya.
- None-ya who?
- None ya business.
- That was a good one.
None ya business, I like it.
- Hello?
- You found my phone.
- It was in the kitchen.
- [Jessie] Everything okay?
- Sort of, where'd you go?
- Look, um, I'm gonna swing by in the morning
and pick you up,
and then we're gonna head up to Tahoe, okay?
- I can't. - What do you mean?
- Mom asked me to be a bridesmaid.
- I haven't seen you in two months.
- Sorry, Dad, but I need to be here for Mom.
- I had the whole trip planned, honey.
- Maybe next year.
- Hi. - Look, I gotta go.
- Carrie.
- Hey, how's the movie?
- Ed.
- Yeah?
- I never cheated on my wife.
- I know.
- Well, then how did I lose her?
- I ever tell you why I became a pastor?
I lost my wife from a car accident.
She loved Christmas.
Her favorite song was "Silent Night."
I miss her voice.
But you didn't lose your wife, Jessie.
She's just waiting for you to fight for her, that's all.
Tomorrow is Christmas.
If you want your wife back,
you give her the gift that she deserves.
* Holy infant so tender and mild *
- Merry Christmas.
* Sleep in heavenly peace
- Merry Christmas.
* Sleep in heavenly peace
* Silent night
* Holy night
- Flynn didn't know that you and Jessie
got married on Christmas.
- Oh, you didn't tell him that, either, huh?
- Oh, oh.
Oh, would you look at your father?
He was so handsome, the cheater.
- I love weddings.
- You married your dolls when you were five.
- I always had this image
of what a couple was like, you know?
Perfect on top of their cake,
no problems, no pop stars.
- Hm, was Jessie part of that image?
- Oh, come on, Mom, you never gave him a chance.
- Oh, come on, Noelle, you could have done better.
- No one was ever good enough for you.
- What's the matter with that?
I didn't settle, you shouldn't settle.
- I never felt like I was settling.
- That's your problem.
- You know what, Mom?
I want the negative talk about Jessie to stop.
- Excuse me?
- He is Carrie's dad.
When you say those things about him, it doesn't hurt him.
It hurts your own granddaughter.
- I don't believe that, and I don't understand why you--
- You know what?
I didn't expect you to understand.
I just...
I just want you to stop hurting everybody.
It's, it's like you just make things worse.
I want you to move out, when we get back.
- You're throwing me out?
- I need the space, my husband's moving in.
(birds chirping)
(phone ringing)
- Thank you, Jurgen.
We appreciate your business.
- So?
- The money will be wired on Monday.
- Whoo!
I can't believe we did it.
And I'm getting married, too.
I do!
Morning.
- Flynn!
God!
- What?
- Bathing suit, get one!
God, my eyes are burning!
- Who's that?
- Hm?
Oh, um, Michelle.
The phones are working and the roads are clear.
- That's great!
I'll have Devon pull up the limo with my luggage and my tux.
- Michelle's coming up, too.
- Well, that's wonderful.
We have a lot to do.
I mean, you might want to procure yourself
some sort of formal wear, don't you think?
- Flynn, um...
Don't you think we might be rushing into things a little?
- Honey, look, I don't think we're rushing into it at all.
I mean, when you're in love,
the pieces just seem to fall into place.
(bright piano music)
This is so exciting!
- Perhaps you're right.
Uh, Michelle, I'm gonna need my jewelry.
- Hey, Russ.
- For the bride.
- Oh, thank you.
Uh, excuse me, is there a wedding photographer in town?
- The only one we have is Tiny.
- Okay, thank you.
Michelle, okay, listen, I need you to call Sue.
Yeah, I know she's in Canada,
but I just need you to break into her warehouse
and find me my favorite dress.
Okay?
Right.
- Oh, I can't wait, these'll be great, right?
- You think so, huh? - Well...
- I don't know where it is, though.
I don't see it, it's not in the bag.
- Okay, um, listen, I want 'em over there
and I want 'em over there.
And I want you to make sure they're straight.
Look, three hours, people!
(phone ringing) I do this for a living.
Michelle.
Yeah, are you there?
Okay, listen...
- Is Mom okay?
- No, she's getting married, honey.
Come on.
- Mm, mm-mm.
- Michelle!
Michelle!
Oh, the phones are down again!
- Honey, you need to calm down and sit down.
- I can't, Mom, I'm gonna explode.
- Mom, my necklace.
- Oh, come here, honey, I'll help you.
Let me get that.
You know what?
I'm gonna be married in two hours again.
And you know what I said after Jessie.
Never again.
I just wanted something simple,
and you know, I just don't know what I want.
- Mom, you're pulling my hair.
- I'm sorry.
You know what I used to say to my clients?
You should never elope, because then you're gonna miss out
on one of the most memorable times of your life
with your family and your friends.
- Ow, Mom...
- Honey, you have your friends and your family here.
- I wanna stand up front.
- What?
- Yeah, I want him to walk down the aisle to me.
- Uh. - Ow!
- There, I got it, honey.
- Yeah, and you pulled out half my hair!
- No, just a couple strands.
Where's my phone?
- Pre-nup's finished.
- Good.
- You should probably have her sign it now.
- Ah, excuse me.
Could we have more champagne for the bride, please?
- A lot of champagne, it's a good pre-nup.
- Uh, Noelle, been looking for you.
This is the photographer.
- Oh, it's about time.
Uh, listen, this is a non-traditional wedding,
so I don't want you taking pictures of empty pews.
I don't want anybody thinking
that nobody came to my wedding.
- Noelle. - Hm?
- This man's name is Tiny Williams.
He's the photographer
who took the photograph of Jessie and Discrete.
- That was you? - Noelle.
- Take it easy.
Look, I quit TVT right after that photo.
What they did was wrong.
- You ruined our lives.
- Look, I know, but they had me on a gag order.
The photo was a cheat.
- What do you mean, a cheat?
- The photo editor cropped it, taking out Mike,
making it look like they were alone.
- What?
- I'm so sorry.
When Discrete saw me, she flipped out,
jumped all over him, like she planned it.
Nothing really happened between her and Jessie.
He left with Mike after I took the photos.
You can see Mike.
I moved up here about six months ago to get away from it all
and just take pictures of weddings.
When I saw Jessie at the bar last night,
I told Pastor Ed
and thought that maybe I should do something.
- Noelle.
- Flynn's here and he's invited a few people from the lodge.
And he brought a pre-nup.
- A pre-nup?
What, is he setting us up to fail?
- No, it protects you, as well.
- Jessie never cheated.
- What?
- He never had an affair.
Look for yourself.
- Oh, my, Jessie was telling the truth.
- Oh, finally a voice of reason.
- I didn't know.
- I just didn't wanna be wrong.
He humiliated Carrie and I.
I mean, he may not have slept with her,
but still, you know-- - Uh, uh, Noelle.
- What?
- I'm gonna say something and I want you to listen to me.
I'm sorry for hurting you.
And as much as it pains me to say this,
we were wrong about Jessie.
But if you let him slip away now,
simply because you're embarrassed,
then I failed as a mother.
- Excuse me?
- I taught you better than that.
If Jessie walked out of that hotel room
with his virtues intact, then you need to stand by him.
- You'll have to leave the country for a couple weeks
while I process your visa, but they can't turn you down.
- Honeymoon, ha-ha!
How you doing, Father?
Good to see you.
Ah, Noelle, where's your dress?
- I won't need one.
- I'm sorry, what?
- I made a mistake.
- Ah, well, that's okay, we can, you know,
we can wait for your dress.
- It's not about the dress.
- Uh, if this is about the pre-nup, you know,
we can work it out.
- I'm in love.
- Well, that's perfect, then.
- It's not with you.
I never took you for a runaway bride.
- I never had a reason to run.
- Noelle, I know you think that I forgot about Christmas,
but that is the last day I will ever forget about.
I'm not ready for our life together to be over.
Happy anniversary.
- Happy anniversary.
- Oh, anniversary, come on!
Noelle, he cheated on you with a pop star.
- He did not.
- No, he didn't.
Jessie, I'm so sorry I didn't stand up for you
when I should have.
I wanted you to be perfect,
and it hurt me when I thought you weren't.
But what hurts even more is
that I didn't trust you
when you were telling me the truth.
- I'm sorry I didn't fight for you.
- Do something.
- Okay, this isn't right!
I paid for this wedding!
Okay, I walked through a damn blizzard to get here!
And I'm getting married today.
- This doesn't have to do with your green card?
- Psst.
- I'm not sure what you're talking about, young lady.
- The Lord said, "Don't lie."
- [Mike] She's right!
- Mike, what are you doing here?
- Had to come in and make everything right.
And this guy, he's just getting married to extend his visa.
Isn't that right, Ashley?
- I have no idea what you're talking about.
- Okay, Flynn, the cat's out of the bag.
- Mother, you knew?
- I'm sorry, honey.
He was gonna pay off all your debts
and I thought it was really in your best interest.
- This isn't right, it's, it's--
- Who's Ashley?
- His lawyer.
- His sister? - He's an only child.
- Noelle, come on, marriage is your business, right?
I help you, you help me.
- No, Flynn, it's not about business.
It's about love.
And love is like a good bottle of wine,
it only gets better with time.
Jessie,
will you remarry me?
- There's nothing in this world that I would rather do
than be your husband again.
- Oh!
- This is so awesome!
- Michelle, 30 minutes.
- Well played, Jessie.
- It's not a game, Flynn.
- Well, actually you're wrong there and you won.
- Flynn, if marriage is a business,
then I have a proposal for you.
- [Noelle] Mother.
- He has a problem, and I'm willing to lend him a hand.
- And just what would that pertain?
- You marry me,
and you get your work permit.
- You know what?
Before this goes any further,
Flynn, I'd like to have a little talk with you, okay?
First of all, I'll never call you Dad.
- Fair enough.
- And secondly, we're not big on cheating in this family,
so if you ever cheat-- - I get $2 million.
Okay?
- Deal.
- Ashley, or whatever your name is, let's make a deal.
- [Mike] Ha-ha, all right.
- Dearly beloved, we are gathered here
on this very special day to join this beautiful couple
and the business venture in holy matrimony.
And thank you, Jesus, for giving me back my perfect streak.
You know, Jesus said Christmas is his favorite holiday.
(upbeat music)
(Gabe farts)
* Jingle bells, jingle bells
* Jingle all the way
* Oh, what fun it is to ride
* In a one-horse open sleigh
(glasses clinking)
(everyone cheering)
- I love you.
(upbeat music)
* The heat is hot
* Burning like a fire
* The heat is hot
* Dancing with desire
* The heat is hot
* Burning like a fire
* The heat is hot
* Dancing with desire
* They say that music soothes the savage beast *
* Lord, it puts the shuffle in my feet *
* Something happens when I feel the groove *
* The beat is banging and I need to move *
* The heat is hot
* Burning like a fire
* The heat is hot
* Dancing with desire
* The heat is hot
* Burning like a fire
* The heat is hot
* Dancing with desire
* Lights are flashing and I'm in the flow *
* Ignites the passion flowing in my soul *
* Every time I hear the snare drum roll *
* I hit the dance floor and I lose control *
* The heat is hot
* Burning like a fire
* The heat is hot
* Dancing with desire
* The heat is hot
* Burning like a fire
* The heat is hot
* Dancing with desire
(upbeat music)
* Everybody's telling me what to do *
* But nothing that they're saying is getting through *
* 'Cause I've got a mind of my own *
* My heart is in control
* It's my life
* It's my love
* And it's you that I've been thinking of *
* My young love
* Nobody thinks it's real
* When it's young love
* Nobody understands
* My young love
* Nobody thinks it's real
* When it's young love
* Nobody understands
* No one else can tell me the way I feel *
* I can tell the difference between fake and real *
* And when I close my eyes
* It's you that I see in my mind *
* It's my life
* It's my love
* And it's you that I've been thinking of *
* My young love
* Nobody thinks it's real
* When it's young love
* Nobody understands
* My young love
* Nobody thinks it's real
* When it's young love
* Nobody understands
* Everybody's telling me what to do *
* My young love
* Nobody thinks it's real
* When it's young love
* Nobody understands
* My young love
* Nobody thinks it's real
* When it's young