Here you go!
Welcome, Andrei Nikolaevich.
Hand over the 50 grand.
It's expensive nowadays to ski in Bukovel.
What did you expect? That's what it's like.
-Mikhail. -Yes?
Let's trade.
I'll give you the Kharkov subway,
and you give me the Nikopol Ferroalloy Plant.
Dear Andrei Nikolaevich,
please shove the Kharkov subway deep into...
Kharkov.
Gentlemen, I don't quite understand.
I think it's time to sound the alarm bells
and not play games.
How's our Krivitskiy?
Why the long wait?
Customs issues need to be resolved.
Not only customs issues.
There are also Central Bank issues.
Gentlemen, don't get ahead of yourselves.
We all have unresolved issues.
We're working on them.
To coin a phrase...
New faces, but the same rates.
Bingo.
Well, Mikhail Semenovich?
Let's do the trade.
In addition to the Kharkov subway...
I'll give you Zhitomir Pantyhose.
And also the Odessa Portside Plant.
Now, don't be cheeky.
Then how about
the Poltava power company?
-Well, is it a done deal? -Well...
-Done. -Done.
PRESIDENTIAL ADMINISTRATION OF UKRAINE
What's this?
All the citizens of the nation are asking this question.
It's as if crime has been wiped out
and Ukraine faces no security threats.
The Security Service chief can dance now.
SECURITY SERVICE
I don't have another explanation for Tretyak's strange behavior.
Of course, I would like to ask Goloborodko himself about this,
and the other hidden talents of his team.
But the president's office is keeping quiet so far.
The customer you're...
Damn!
She's got no signal.
Vasyl Petrovych, you have a meeting with farmers.
How can I meet with farmers when Nina Yegorovna is missing?
I'll handle the search for Nina Yegorovna.
Thanks.
Okay. Off I go, then.
Pavel Dmitrievich, you're a Central Bank adviser.
You get paid to give sensible advice,
not to call me in a panicked voice, asking what you should do.
A perfect mess.
Tough but fair.
That's how you were described to me.
May I come in, Olya Yurievna?
You've already entered.
What brings you here?
I don't want our relationship
to be based on obligations.
Let's base it on friendly arrangements.
What kind of arrangements?
Who are you, anyway?
It doesn't...
matter who I am.
Much more important is why I'm here.
Olya Yurievna, I'm a practical person,
just like you, so I'll get to the point.
What's this?
This is our appreciation for the Central Bank giving our bank a license.
Will you go by yourself, or shall I call security?
I see. I double the proposition.
Okay. Name your figure.
Goodbye.
Clearly.
I'll leave you my number.
Just in case.
Don't hurry with your decision...
Olya Yurievna.
KRIVITSKIY
-Good afternoon. -Hi.
-Vasyl Petrovych. -Yes, Yuriy Ivanovich.
Please accept my sincere condolences.
This is better. Toronto is good for retirement, after all.
-Hello. -Good day.
-You know already? -Everybody does.
Well, I'm not lying
when I say that four out of five isn't a bad outcome.
Frankly, I'm not used to counting people as things.
You'd better get used to it.
Emotions interfere with work.
Will you give comments, make an announcement or a denial?
No.
Really?
Vasyl Petrovych, have you thought of a new candidate?
You know, I have exemplary officers in that department.
Sheremetyev and Krivitskiy.
Loyal spies.
Loyal to whom?
To the country.
No, thanks. I'll do it myself.
Thanks.
Bella Rudolfovna, link up the interior minister.
Immediately?
Yes. I need to find one person.
In 30 minutes.
Nina Yegorovna's passport was checked at Boryspil Airport.
-Long ago? -An hour ago.
On which flight?
The Kyiv-Toronto flight.
Why Toronto?
Her daughter lives there.
Of course.
Thanks.
We'll talk later.
-Ivan, come faster! You have a visitor! -Who?
-A visitor. -Who?
I don't know. He said you arranged it.
Me?
No, I did! Don't be a little baby.
Okay.
Bon appétit.
The cake is delicious.
Mila Alekseevna,
you deserve a monument.
It's simply heroic to bake such magnificent morsels.
-And in these conditions. -It's not heroic.
I have a Soviet-era oven and it slightly overcooks.
I also want to offer you some homemade jam.
You're from
the welfare office?
You came to inspect how we live?
Eat some more.
I won't get in the way. You talk in private.
I'm leaving.
I'm not from welfare.
The state currently can't be bothered even with those
who are ready to die for their country.
What's with this country?
The country is fine.
We just have a lot of jackasses.
Look, let's get to the point.
Who are you? What do you want?
Ivan Andreevich.
I represent the interests of people
who know of the army's problems and want to help.
Okay.
How come?
Your ministry has a lot of delayed construction
and unused shooting ranges.
We could take that burdensome weight off your shoulders.
And not for free, of course. Are you interested?
Of course, I'm interested.
What kind of figures?
Seven figures.
Oh, Lord!
I forgot to bring you cream.
What do you want?
Nothing. I forgot to give our guest cream.
Here you are. Go ahead. Write.
-Write... What? -Mila, go already!
Oh, my goodness!
$2,000,000
Do you want more?
No way. Why would I?
That's enough.
My good man!
Why don't you have one more slice of cake?
Ivan doesn't eat sweets. I don't want it to spoil!
-Well, only a small slice. -Right!
Why are you holding back?
-Mila is an excellent cook. Right? -I'm a good cook!
A slice... Take the whole cake!
Vanya!
Don't, Vanya! Don't!
What are you doing, Vanya?
Get me some soup. I have 15 minutes.
Vasyl Petrovych, this is for you.
It was found in Nina Yegorovna's flat.
Thanks.
Where are you off to?
Mila.
Come on, Mila.
Stop being silly.
How can you not understand?
Once you take it, the dirt will never come off!
Mila, how would I look Vasya in the eyes afterwards?
Mila!
Go to hell!
Fool of a woman!
Lord!
You had an amazing chance.
You had a winning lottery ticket.
We could have started again...
and left this dump.
I've been going in and out those army barracks all my life!
Skorik!
Do you know why we don't have kids?
Because where could I bring them, Skorik?
To this cramped old hut?
Lord!
You piece of shit!
His deputies drive normal cars.
Their wives live a life of luxury.
But my caveman drives a jeep from the stone age.
Did you forget anything?
I'm not taking this.
Take it to the barracks and make it into rags!
What was I thinking when I met you?
Everyone has fur coats,
except for me!
Water the plants, you bastard!
Tervetuloa Ukraina.
Remember it.
I'll remember.
Finns don't like their personal space being violated.
Patting a person on the back or shoulders insults a guest.
Don't put your hands in your pockets or cross your arms.
It can be interpreted wrongly.
I don't get it.
Why is the Finn here anyway?
For modus procedendi.
I see.
Modus procedendi
is the mutual approval of procedures by contracting parties.
That's what I thought.
Finns also don't like loud interlocutors.
It's considered bad form.
What? Do I speak loudly?
No, but your laugh...
I don't laugh at all.
Sergei Viktorovich!
I've got everything. Don't you worry.
Your Finn and I will get along.
I played a Finn once.
What kind of Finn?
Huckleberry.
Okay, I'm going to meet the guest.
Wait, one more time.
How do you say "Welcome to Ukraine"?
Tervetuloa Ukraina.
You remember!
Tervor...
Terver...
Mikhail Ivanovich?
Please let me take a minute of your time.
About what?
A personal matter.
Personal matters are handled on the first Thursday of the month.
But it personally concerns you.
I'm listening.
It's a sensitive issue.
That's why I want to talk in private.
Come with me.
Right...
-Please sign. -What is it?
Would you like tea or coffee? Perhaps, something sweet?
No. Definitely nothing sweet.
Nothing at all. Thanks.
-Thank you. -As you wish.
I'm listening.
I'd like to discuss the appointment
of a new Odessa customs service head.
Is there something wrong with the current head?
He doesn't seem to be in the right place.
Well, in the sense
that another person should be in his place.
There's someone we'd like to recommend to you.
And who are "we"?
I represent the interests of a group
of very influential associates,
whose offers shouldn't be refused.
And what's the surname of your...
protégé?
A beautiful surname.
Isn't it?
The Security Service chief's behavior is inexcusable.
That is undeniable.
-Hi. -Hello!
Any comments on the Security Service chief's behavior?
No comment.
Has Ms Tretyak been fired?
I've just said, no comment.
Maybe she was framed?
Maybe. We're looking into it.
Any more questions?
Where is she now?
Goodbye.
-Tea or coffee? -Tea and coffee.
Maybe the chief is using drugs?
No comment!
I don't know. Excuse me. I don't have time.
Damn!
God...
Tarvertula Ukraina.
Trave... Tili... Ukraina?
I forgot how to say it in Finnish.
Speak Russian, then.
-You speak Russian? -Why, yes.
-I speak it quite fluently. -Great.
That will be easier. Have a seat.
Thanks.
Did you study here?
I was born, studied,
and got married here.
And, basically, I live here.
I see.
Sergei Viktorovich,
by all appearances, you took me for another.
But my visit is as important
as the person you were expecting.
Very well. I'm listening.
I've come to ask a favor.
Disaster has struck a very good person.
In Bolivia.
Oh, I get it. A tourist?
Sure, you could say that.
But rather a vacationer.
He's stuck and can't leave the country?
Well, you could say that.
But rather, they won't let him out.
I get it.
You need help from the ministry to get our embassy to help him.
Well, you could say that.
But rather, his extradition needs to be secured.
Now this, I don't get.
Is this a bribe?
You could say that.
But rather,
a generous reward.
Then call until she picks up.
Call where? She's flying.
-Did you call her daughter? -Yes.
Nina Yegorovna only told her the arrival time.
What really happened to her?
Maybe she went a bit mad?
You know what, Sergei?
Instead of this,
get the Canadian embassy to find her.
-If I have to, I'll do it! -Get on it.
Guys, don't argue.
Nina Yegorovna won't come back.
-Why? -Here.
-What? -Read it.
This is not for me, not for a woman.
Don't look for me. I need time to think.
She was set up.
They will use blackmail, bribes... They're terrible.
Anything else?
There's a postscript.
I advise you to think about this.
-About what? -There's a picture.
-Who's this? -That's Mika Tasunyan. Remember?
-The head of our school scouts club. -Exactly.
He's in Gyumri working for Armenia's state security service.
There are no obstacles in our way!
We shall always succeed anyway!
-Glad to see you! -It was good of you to come.
You have a gray beard!
-Fellas! -The Armenian god!
-Comrades! -Look at you!
Come on. I have wine.
Hello, Mika.
It's been a while.
-Misha. -Mika.
Same name?
Red or white?
Bro, you offend me. Tasty wine!
You rascal.
So nobody took the money?
Everybody is so righteous?
I don't believe it.
Righteousness has nothing to do with it.
They had simply never seen so much money before.
So there was
a rejection.
It was a natural reaction for them.
The same thing happened to me.
About 25 years ago,
I was offered
my first grand in dollars.
When I took the grand,
I got a fever.
What happened next?
In the evening, I had a good time and took a load off.
The next morning, I understood...
that a grand is not so grand after all.
I'm certain that those untouchables
will also change their minds.
We just need to give time
for common sense to take over.
I agree.
As the unforgettable President Kuchma said,
"One's position determines the point of view".
And they're sitting in that same position.
-Good evening. -Take care.
Vasyl Petrovych!
Yes, Yuriy Ivanovich?
Pardon me...
Who will head the Security Service?
Don't worry. Security is in good hands.
Meet our new chief.
-Georgian? -Why Georgian?
I'm Armenian.
Yuriy Ivanovich.
Mikael, pleased to meet you.
You're a trailblazer, Vasyl Petrovych.
-Goodbye. -Goodbye.
Goodbye.
I'm glad you're with us.
You will succeed.
You know, I don't doubt you or the guys for a second.
The situation is anything but simple.
I won't lie to you.
-Yeah... -Everything will work out, Vasya.
-We're a team? -We're a team.
Of course.
Everything will be good.
You know,
within ten minutes, I knew what kind of snake pit I'd entered.
It's difficult not to step
on the tail of some snakes.
You sure said it!
Sorry I called you into a snake pit.
Right.
Nina Yegorovna's ordeal is truly a mystical situation.
What do you mean, mystical?
It's a psychotropic drug.
I've come across it.
Someone in her circle is playing a practical joke.
That's okay.
I also like jokes.
So we'll have a laugh together.
We're here.
Okay. Good night. Sleep well.
A difficult first day at work is ahead.
You're not alone. We're a team.
There are no--
Quiet. People are asleep.
...obstacles in our way.
We shall succeed anyway!
-Okay, bye. -Bye.
Always succeed. Right!
Now this, I don't get.
Is this a bribe?
Rather, it's a generous reward.
You had an amazing chance!
You had a winning lottery ticket.
We could have started again.
Do you know why we don't have kids?
Where could I bring them?
To this cramped old hut?
What's the surname of your protégé?
A beautiful surname.
Isn't it?
Don't hurry with your decision, Olya Yurievna.
Translated by Mark P. Raczkiewycz