PRESIDENTIAL ADMINISTRATION OF UKRAINE
Thanks.
We need to have a serious talk.
Hello to you too.
Hi. So, here it is.
Have you eaten?
-Yes. -I didn't have one bite.
I was unveiling memorials and bridges.
-Let's talk in the cafe. -Okay.
The school called. Your son got into a fight.
Not mine, yours. Ours, to be exact.
No, Vasya.
My son is a good student, plays the violin and goes to drama class.
Fighting with classmates, that's your upbringing.
What upbringing?
That's right, none whatsoever.
You're always so dramatic.
You never listen to me.
I'm telling you again,
I've explained to him more than once that fighting is bad.
-Yes. -You know very well.
-The father should give these talks. -I know.
It's good that you know.
Then you'll speak to him tonight.
Tonight?
That's the second thing I wanted to ask you.
Will you watch Dima?
A potential stepfather has appeared.
A banker.
A private home.
Not married.
-Good. -Doesn't drink.
Coffee?
Well?
Two coffees, please.
Vasya?
-Vasya. -Yes?
-Are you listening? -Sure.
What about Dima?
Which Dima?
Your son. Will you talk to him?
Yes.
-Really? -Yes.
The world's best ex. Did you know?
-Yes. -Thanks.
Thanks a million.
Vasya!
Yes?
-Your passport. -I remember.
-Anna! -Yes?
Listen to a pro.
You should be in a movie, not pushing papers.
-You think so? -Sure.
It's a shame to hide such a gem from viewers.
I could get you auditions.
I don't know. I'll think about it.
And those coffee rolls, please.
What is there to think about?
-Hello. -Hello.
What were you talking about?
Sergei is recommending that I go for the silver screen.
He is a professional actor.
Can I have a word?
We have a meeting.
-A meeting? -We have an urgent meeting.
-Excuse us. -What?
The most urgent kind there is.
Straight.
Do you have champagne?
-What are you doing? -What?
It's a work day and you're wasting time.
I get it. You're in love!
-Hi. -Hello.
I'm not in love.
You're enticing a valuable employee.
Hello.
This is strictly a staff matter.
Who are you trying to fool?
I see which staff you worry about.
Your eyes get shifty, fingers twitch, and cheeks blush.
The last time you blushed this way
was in the seventh grade chasing Katya.
Is it that obvious?
Sure.
On the flip side, I'm impressed.
-You're after the right babes. -Okay.
What stage of love are we at?
This kind...
Listen to me carefully.
First,
take her here.
Buy her the most expensive dinner.
Then,
take her here.
What is this?
The keys to my apartment and your happiness.
Don't lose them.
Sergei,
I can't do it.
Wait!
No time. Grigoriy is waiting.
Let him wait. One can wait for the minister.
Are they issuing many apartments?
-156. -That's a lot. For how many people?
For everyone.
Then not a lot.
Are there two-bedroom flats?
There's two or three.
Listen.
We need two rooms,
we would fix it up and buy appliances.
-We'll see. Bye. -Do you want kids?
What will the first-born be?
A boy or girl?
Can I have twins?
Twins in a two-roomer.
We'll figure it out.
Go home.
Go.
Start the car, let's go.
Hi, Dad!
Hi there. Well?
Want to say something, rascal?
I know everything.
-Brawler. -Come on, Dad!
-Dad... -Excuse me, this is urgent.
You have a phone call from the Chinese prime minister.
Okay. We're not done yet.
After that you meet with the anti-trust agency.
Then it's a Canadian embassy meeting.
I completely forgot. All today.
Right...
Regarding your son, don't worry.
We'll think of something.
Thank you.
-Let's go. -Bye.
Dima.
Listen to Bella.
I mean, Bella Rudolfovna.
Okay Dad.
It's good you came.
Our cafe is better than the president's.
It's much better here than at the president's.
Look at you.
You need to get married.
Only after you, buddy.
You haven't decided to tie the knot?
No way.
Although mom has driven me crazy already.
All moms are alike.
Mine drove me crazy.
She is always palming some strange women off on me.
-Folder, please. -Yes.
Thank you.
Okay. I'll come in 30 minutes.
Dossiers of ambassadors.
Thanks.
Incidentally, your assistant, Oksana.
What a transformation.
Quite true.
You don't mind if I make a move?
Take her out and all that.
Why should I mind?
You never know. You might want her too.
-Want her? She isn't my taste. -Really?
Then give me her number.
-I'll call her in the evening. -No problem.
But the evening won't work.
Why won't it work?
She...
She went to Thailand on business. She returns in one week.
-Too bad. -Okay.
I have to go.
Bye.
Don't forget to call me later.
Her number?
I'll text it to you.
I'll be waiting.
Wait for it.
Thanks.
This is nice.
-I've never been here. -Really?
I...
I have also never been here.
Well then.
Say a toast.
Me?
Okay.
Maybe you would...
Me give it?
I propose drinking to you.
Thank you.
To me...
To us.
-A wonderful toast. -Thanks.
How's the fish?
-It's good. -Good?
Yes.
Enjoy your meal.
Thank you.
Excuse me, one second, okay?
-You know, with you, I wanted to... -No.
What do you mean, no?
May I leave you for a second? Then I'll say "yes".
One minute.
Excuse me, I'm so embarrassed.
Goloborodko.
-May I know what you are doing here? -Dining.
-Dining? -Dining.
Didn't I ask you to babysit our son?
-Where is he? -It's all good.
Dima is safe with grandparents.
-Grandparents? -Yes.
Excuse me that your son, your child, got in your way
of seeing an intelligent specialist.
Aren't you...
Aren't you ashamed?
You also came here with some guy.
I am organizing my personal life.
You can have a personal life,
but nobody else can.
Is that right?
So your meeting is beyond professional relations?
I'm done. Why am I justifying myself?
Who are you to me?
You're no one. You're my ex.
Not my sister or mother.
I don't care who your date is. Some cockroach.
I won't describe him!
-I'll introduce him. -No.
Unmarried banker, a house. How's that?
I'm not interested.
-You know why you're not? -Why?
-You're selfish. -Me?
You always were. And I care.
If you want to hear about your Anna--
-I don't. -I'll tell you.
She is a she-devil. I see it in her eyes.
-In her eyes? You're so perceptive! -Yes, I see it!
-Enjoy your meal! -Enjoy your date.
Your banker is run of the mill.
St. Andrew's church is beautiful.
Legend has it that long ago, there was a sea in place of the Dnepr River.
Later, Andrew the Apostle built a cross on that hill.
The sea floated under the hill.
When St. Andrew's Church was built,
they say a spring was found under the alter.
Do you know why there isn't
a bell in the church?
Why?
Legend says that when the bell strikes,
the water will flow and flood Kyiv and all of Ukraine.
You're a good storyteller.
-I listen with delight. -Come on.
I've bored you with my lecture.
Not at all.
I could listen all night.
Truthfully?
What time is it?
It's midnight.
How will I get home?
The buses have stopped.
Don't get the wrong idea.
My friend...
He gave me his keys. To his house. It's not far from here.
If you want, you could sleep there.
Oh, it's somewhat improper.
It's your choice. I'll hail a cab for you.
-Vasyl. -Yes.
-Hi. -If you insist so much, then...
Let's go.
Drive off!
Sorry.
Thank you.
Shall we go?
-Yes. -That way.
Tolya?
Hello.
Are you hungry?
Do you want cutlets with pasta?
Do you want it warm or cold?
Why won't you talk?
-Is it work again? -Is my daughter asleep?
Yes, for a long time.
I want a son.
Tolya.
Wait. Gosh.
Maybe you'll eat first? Tolya?
Here.
Sheets, towels and...
The remote control.
Just in case you get bored.
That's it.
Goodnight. Thanks.
Vasyl Petrovych.
Are you leaving?
I...
Sorry.
Yes. Tomorrow will be a tough day.
I'll go.
Goodbye.
Vasyl Petrovych!
It looks like...
I am in charge of this place.
It looks that way.
Then can I offer you
some tea?
I like tea.
Help yourself. Oranges, plums, pears. I'll get the tea.
One minute. It's somewhere here.
It's somewhere.
Sorry. In the meantime, help yourself.
I'll call Sergei.
How can tea be hidden so well?
Yes, Vasya.
Sergei.
Where do you keep--
Bedroom nightstand.
Two packs.
You keep tea in the bedroom?
What a joker.
You twat, I'm asking about tea.
You're the twat. What tea?
Why aren't you in bed yet?
Answer the question. Where is the tea?
The second drawer from the top.
Vasya,
if you decide after the tea ceremony to play the lotto,
then I don't have it.
I got it, thanks.
Okay, so...
There's no lotto.
I mean, the tea is in a different drawer.
I found it.
Tea.
Even better.
What?
Will you toast?
Say a toast?
-I should? -Yes.
That's the right way. To me.
To you.
I'm nervous.
For some reason.
-Thanks. -Thanks.
Agreeable tea.
Do you smell the aroma?
No.
Excuse me.
It's doing it to spite me. Yes!
I was busy. What?
How?
I'm on my way.
Excuse me, please.
Dima is in hospital.
I have to go.
Thanks.
Sorry.
What happened? Where is he?
I'm here.
What's wrong, son? Why the pot?
It's not a pot. It's my helmet.
Ouch, Dad!
I'm sorry.
How did you get inside?
The pot...
-Hello. -Hello.
What do we have here?
An astronaut?
Robocop?
A knight.
A Teuton.
Let's go, knight.
We're going to free you.
Will it take long?
No, don't worry.
Just don't yell at me.
-Who's yelling at you? -You are.
In your heart.
I feel it.
Okay, got it.
It's my fault.
We played too long, I wasn't watching. It happens.
Where's your pot?
Mine came off.
Look at you.
Dad.
Hi.
Alright.
Vasya, please...
forgive me.
Don't worry.
The pot is nothing.
That's not what I mean.
Forgive me too.
A truce then, son?
Truce.
I don't want to listen to you!
-Mila... -Don't follow me, got it?
I'm sorry.
Mila.
There was no other way to do this.
Onischenko's family has a 12-meter room. Understand?
He has three boys,
a wife and a bed-ridden mother.
In a year, we'll have this apartment.
I don't want it next year, I want it this year!
I'm 35, you're 37.
How much longer?
I don't want to wait that long!
Mila.
That's it, Skorik.
File for a divorce.
This time, I'm gone forever!
Lose my telephone number.
AGATHA CHRISTIE
Hello.
Hi, Oksana.
Did I wake you?
No, it's okay.
Why aren't you asleep?
You called to ask that at 1 a.m.?
No, actually I...
I thought I would call.
Why aren't you asleep?
I'm thinking.
About what?
My parents
were offered a job in Japan.
They want me to go with them.
What do you think?
I don't know.
I haven't made a decision.
I see.
Okay then.
Sorry.
Sorry I disturbed you.
No problem.
Until tomorrow.
Tomorrow we have those...
I almost said "yellow-faces". The Chinese.
Correct, the Chinese.
A business suit and no jokes.
Only after I've edited them.
Agreed.
Goodnight.
Dad.
Why aren't you sleeping?
Because you just woke me.
Why aren't you sleeping?
I'm thinking.
About what?
Recollecting your exploits?
Why did you fight in school?
I just tapped Vova Onanko.
Was it justified?
Yes.
He said that you...
Rather, his father said,
that you’re like the other presidents.
That nothing changes.
That life is still bad.
But it's not so.
It's not true.
I hope it's not true.
At least I'm trying.
It turns out that it's not easy being president.
What's hard about it?
Not everything depends on you.
There are many harmful, bad guys,
who always hinder your country.
Like orcs?
Like orcs.
Why don't you kick their asses?
It's easier said than done.
There are many orcs.
That means you need a superpower.
A superpower?
Yes. Every hero has a superpower.
Do you have a superpower?
Of course, I do.
You.
You are my superpower.
We're going to see each other,
and you'll energize me.
Like that!
I'll fight the bad guys.
Agreed?
-Yes. -Go to sleep.
Goodnight.
Do you promise not to fight?
I guess.
Sleep.
Translated by Mark P. Raczkiewycz