Hello.
Don't start, I beg you.
Did you both make an arrangement?
I have a normal jacket on.
Instead, tell me your decision on Japan.
You're doing well, Mr President.
You can't tell you've only been in politics for 100 days.
I'm a quick learner.
Coffee?
No, thanks. Coffee gives me a headache.
Then don't bother.
You should take care of your head.
That's right.
Excuse me.
No worries.
Yes, Mom.
I'm on the show.
I'll come home right after the show.
I promise.
One minute before we go live.
Let's go.
PRESIDENTIAL ADMINISTRATION OF UKRAINE
Where are the peas?
You forgot to buy peas. Go, quickly.
-Wait, it's interesting. -Go.
-Okay, it's fixed. -Good job!
Did you screw in everything?
All done.
Now zip this up.
Our dialogue today is on corruption.
Attaboy.
What is the Security Service project about?
Do you need help?
In brief, it is simple. Return stolen money to where it belongs.
For example,
the health minister's new palace, built from money of dubious origin,
should be returned to the state.
We confiscate it,
and turn it into a hospital for ordinary Ukrainians.
We'll even name the hospital after the corrupt official.
So that his offspring will remember him.
Now that, we support.
I don't see what you can possibly support.
What support? Why are you egging the people on?
Grab, take away, seize and rob the loot.
We've been through this before.
I mean in our country.
Taking from rich farmers, repression.
And then what?
Mass shootings?
Excuse me, Vasyl Petrovych,
where has this been done?
You don't know?
I don't.
I'll tell you.
In China.
Once the great Confucius said,
to move a mountain, begin by carrying away small stones.
In China, the stones were removed overnight.
The vast majority of bribe takers were shot.
Excuse me,
a majority is how many?
Twenty thousand.
In one go.
Let me go!
Please!
You have no right. I'll tell you everything!
I swear! I know them all!
Ready!
Please, let me go!
Why me?
Why not that fat Karasiuk?
-I beg-- -I'm here.
Aim!
Fire!
That's how it's done in the Celestial Empire.
Did you know that your Celestial Empire,
with its shootings, is 152nd in the corruption rankings?
We've always pointed this out!
We won't endorse capital punishment!
I agree.
It's not the right approach.
You speak substantively, boyar!
Look what they thought up - shooting!
What a hoot!
What is death without torture?
Come here, fine sir.
I want to tell you something.
The wretched should be tormented!
They should be impaled!
Broken on the wheel!
Smash their knee caps!
Pour scorching lead down their throats!
Ivan the Terrible, that's illegal.
But you are the law.
You are the tsar!
I am no tsar.
Who are you, then?
What is your ancestry?
What do you mean?
What is your name?
Goloborodko.
Goloborodko?
I had a jester once.
Prokhor Goloborodko.
A witty fellow.
I ripped his tongue out.
That's cruel.
It's the only way.
That may be the only way in the 16th century,
but we try to resolve things in a democratic fashion.
The Scandinavians, your ancestors, by the way,
lawfully rooted out corruption.
You wretch! What are you saying?
Rus people are different. Savage!
Being cordial isn't understood!
Chop off the hand that steals!
I won't chop off any hands!
You know very well, the issue isn't hands.
Our problem lies here, in the head.
Then chop off their heads!
This was done in Ancient Rus,
and you can do it!
You are a tsar of Rus after all!
The same old thing!
Why the broken record? I am no tsar of Rus!
-Who are you, then? -I am president of Ukraine.
Of Ukraine?
You mean the Prince of Kyiv?
If it's more convenient, then call me that.
How are your brothers?
Still under the Poles and Lithuanians?
Be patient, dear ones, be patient.
Soon, we'll free you.
No, thanks. We don't need freeing.
Really?
We're going to Europe.
What? To Europe?
-To Europe. -We are Slavs.
We have the same blood!
Why talk about blood again?
You're heading one way, we, another.
Let's go in different directions and we'll talk in 300 years.
Different directions?
We have our own path.
A different path.
-A different path? -Our own path.
-Ours, different from yours. -How? When our path is the same!
You have one path, but we choose another.
We have different paths.
Hey.
What's your name?
Do you hear me?
Hey.
Hey, you.
Why don't you come with us?
Why not with us?
What other path?
Do you hear me?
Who will you be with?
Who?
Who will you be with?
Who?
With Uganda and the Comoro Islands.
They are our closest peers when measuring corruption.
Go and buy peas.
Wait. Sit and listen to what's happening!
It appears that we've reached an impasse.
More questions than answers.
It appears that Ukraine
indeed cannot tackle corruption.
Mr President,
if you can't beat corruption, why don't you become its leader?
Since you have experience in taking a bribe for a good cause.
If it is done right, it could mean not 50 million, but 50 billion.
It's possible...
but that post is taken.
What was that?
This was Pechersk Court judge's judicial explanation.
Funny. Look what else is interesting.
How the origin of $40,000 found in the safe
of state property fund chief Chechyotkin was explained.
Go on.
"Having arrived today at my place of work,
I discovered an unknown object in my office similar to a safe.
I couldn't call the police in time
because they stormed into my office without me calling them.
They placed me face down on the floor
and, having opened the safe,
found paper similar to dollar notes
and glass similar to diamonds.
The safe, dollars and glass, don't all belong to me."
Here's one more.
An explanatory note from the deputy ecology minister
about 20 exclusive watches.
"As a child, I didn't have a wristwatch.
Meanwhile, most of my peers had them.
This circumstance upset me very much.
Over the years, the childhood resentment became
a mental disorder."
Naturally.
"Now, all the money I earn, please note, in an honest way,
I spend on purchasing the next watch.
At times, I deprive myself and my loved ones of life's necessities,
such as bread, milk..."
A long list of groceries follows.
They must be put in a newspaper. In the Governmental Courier.
That will help to attract readers to the state-run paper.
Because readership is zero now.
That's another good idea.
I don't know
how to thank you for everything.
You don't know?
You don't?
I'll try to give you...
a hint.
Is that all?
You think that's enough?
I think
this is just the beginning.
Don't you think?
Perhaps.
-I think so. -I don't know.
Is it yours?
No.
It looks like the ex-president's.
MILADY, NATIONAL BANK, MINISTRY OF FINANCE
It's not just a notebook.
It's a black ledger.
In other words,
an off-the-book company
called "Ukraine".
It's all here.
State institutions, financial schemes,
and figures.
Pardon me, are names listed?
The names of players were encoded.
But we found a hook
and reeled in the line.
Misha, what line?
Come in. Sit.
Well?
Have you decided, Bugai?
I'm ready to cooperate with the authorities.
Wonderful!
How did you know it was me?
It wasn't that hard.
In this city you're the only banker
with the name of Bugai.
Talk then.
Talk.
What is there to say?
Every month
I gave a certain amount
to protect my bank.
Who is Milady?
I don't know.
I always left the money in a locker.
That means we won't break with tradition.
Go to the locker.
Then what?
Then the rest is our job.
This was a secret operation, which only a few people knew about.
Interesting.
-Then what? -Then what?
Is this a new video game?
Does it play by itself or--
What's wrong? Will you just tell me?
What's on the monitor?
Bugai's money bag has a tracking device.
Now we're tracking where the bag is going.
Bugai is that banker?
Yes. What if the money is put in a different bag?
That's basically what we expect.
Transfers and money counting.
It's important that they touch it.
The notes are--
They are laced with fluorescent dye.
EXPOCENTER
What a bombshell.
Look where they went.
Where did the bag eventually arrive?
You won't believe.
To our country's main government building.
At the Expocenter. In broad daylight.
These people are lacking in fear and morals.
Where there are tons of security and police,
all the officials, including leading officials,
these people brought millions in dirty money.
Who got the delivery?
Who?
We'll find out now.
Please turn off the lights.
Just for a second, please?
Yuriy Ivanovich, stay where you are.
I'm not going anywhere.
Take him.
Ladies and gentlemen.
Just now,
before your eyes,
the ringleader of the corruption scheme
was arrested.
He turned out to be
the prime minister
of Ukraine.
Bravo.
THE DIALOGUE
Bravo, Mr President!
I have just one question for Yuriy Ivanovich.
But I didn't get a chance to ask him.
Why Milady?
We don't know.
It's also a riddle to us.
There is no riddle here.
As a student he performed in a theater group with no girls.
He played all the female roles.
One role was that of Milady in The Three Musketeers.
-How do you know? -I read it.
Yuriy published his memoirs.
-My Path. -Holy moly.
We searched and all we had to do was read a book.
There you go.
Mr President,
maybe you'll say something to finish?
What can I say to finish?
This is only the beginning.
Bravo!
I think he'll get 15 years.
Yuriy is in the clink.
Some outcome.
With such a moniker,
I don't think he'll have a good time in there.
That notebook surfaced at the wrong time.
It could ruin our entire scenario.
The notebook is fine,
the main thing is to destroy the rest.
What if Yuriy starts to shoot his mouth off?
We'll cut his tongue,
fry it...
and eat it.
What a shitty day.
Savitsky screwed up as well.
Ukraine will remember this Independence Day.
Today, in a live political talk show,
for allegedly committing a series of corrupt crimes,
Prime Minister Yuriy Chuiko was arrested.
Well done, Vasya!
The president addressed all the officials and promised...
To victory!
...to punish them for the slightest act of bribery.
Will all these measures help?
Time will tell if the state is recovering from corruption.
Wow!
Look what the cat dragged in.
How's your mom?
Had a nice gossip session?
I don't understand.
Are you staying a while?
You're not eating.
You're drinking.
There's circles round your eyes.
We'll fix something. It's a holiday.
Okay, Mila,
maybe for Independence Day?
No, I can't.
What do you mean?
If it's a girl,
we'll name her Rita.
Mom's wish.
How long?
The doctor said two months.
Okay.
I'll bring my things in.
Forget your things. Mila!
Mom!
-Yes? -Do you hear me?
Dad, where were you? You missed it all!
The prime minister is in jail.
When I went to buy peas! Vasya got him?
-Who else? -He took after his dad!
-Go and change. -Here.
-Hello. -Vasya.
Come in.
This is Anna.
A pleasure. Maria Stefanovna.
-Hi, nice to meet you. -Come in, please.
Thanks. This way.
-Mom! -Coming!
-Vasya, take the peas. -Okay.
This way.
-Misha, do you think that was okay? -Evening!
-Evening. -Sorry, I thought I wasn't needed.
I know what you were thinking. Here.
-Fiscal womanizer. -Thanks.
It's starting!
-Who's the hero of the day? Hi. -Hi.
Totally unexpected. It blew us away!
This is Anna.
Hi, I'm Sveta.
-Hi, I'm Anna. -I can't help but warn you.
Purely for women's solidarity.
He is hopeless to live with.
Thanks, sister.
Misha, she's the same.
Misha, don't listen to him.
I'm taking notes.
Mom, Dad!
-Let's go! -Come on already!
-Hello! -Hi!
Glory to Ukraine!
Glory to heroes!
This is Oksana.
Petro Vasylyovych. Nice to meet you.
-Maria Stefanovna. -My pleasure.
-You... -She is my assistant.
-This way. -Thanks.
Let's go.
Look who came!
-Hi gang! -Finally!
-Oh boy, hi! -Hello.
-Come in. -Hello.
Come over.
Great jacket!
Thanks.
Have a seat.
That shirt suits you.
Anna, meet my dad.
Hi, I'm Anna.
Petro Vasylyovych. Nice to meet you.
Vasya, a special thanks for the prime minister.
-Don't mention it. -That vampire belonged in jail!
Well, youngsters, some of my fruit liqueur?
-Yes! -Everyone?
-Yes. -His fruit liqueur is the bomb!
-Sergei! -What?
Why don't you introduce us to your date?
We've met before. I'm Oksana, Sergei's assistant.
You are? I didn't recognize you. No way!
-Help yourself, Anna. -Thanks.
-Will the Skoriks come? -Yes. They made peace.
Good!
Olya and Dima promised to come.
Well, I'll start!
What I would like to say on this day...
Dmitriy Vasilievich, I...
Practice drained them and they fell asleep.
Thanks for picking up Dima, because I wouldn't have made it.
It's nothing.
I called a cab. We should go.
I have a counter-offer.
-What? -Come to my place?
Your place?
-Yes. -Where is it?
Out of town.
-Out of town? -I have a big house.
Tomorrow is a day off. Today is Independence Day.
I have a bottle of wine, shish kebab, fresh air...
The kids are tired, let's not bother them.
-I don't know. -I know. Let's go.
-Only for the fresh air. -Olya...
Watch out!
Don't get me!
For my sister.
-Careful! -Gosh, Vasya!
Say I'm not here.
Okay.
Hello.
-She forgot to add the beans. -Thank you.
-Beans? What for? -I added peas.
What, Mom, is today Peas Day?
-Today is Independence Day. -For you?
Vasya, pour it already. Pour quicker and give a toast.
We're listening!
Give a toast.
Guys,
Mom, Dad.
You are my one big family.
I'm very grateful to you.
We rarely meet here at the table,
but only here, at home, do I feel completely safe.
-If I could always feel this way-- -Vasya.
What? I just started giving a toast.
The Russian president.
Which Russian president? Who, Putin?
A different Russian president.
What do you mean?
Give it here.
Hello?
Good evening.
How can I help you?
You?
Translated by Mark P. Raczkiewycz