I sell off all these Dumbbells and I'm done with my debts.
Really, men are quite useful.
They can carry heavy loads, raise children, cook dinner.
They can take care of everything.
And should you want a child, pick yourself a handsome stud.
Just don't fall in love with him...
because here, in the land of the Amazons,
all men are slaves.
There's not one single man in the palace.
The queen just hates them.
Hello, everyone!
The Thirteenth Master is here today doing her first solo.
Pay attention!
And see what I got for you.
Voila, the crown jewel of my shop,
a product that I've taken much care and attention.
Here we are, 18-year-old Hardy Hard.
C'mon over and see for yourself.
Look at his skin. See how smooth it is. Feel it. See how supple.
Hardy Hard, turn around and show the ladies.
He cooks, washes, picks up after you and never complains.
You will not be disappointed.
We're having our summer sales.
I'll let you steal him for just two gold coins.
I give you three!
The merchandise goes to the highest bidder, naturally.
Thank you, ma'am!
What are you doing?
No, please.
What do you mean? Is my money no good?
Don't worry, ma'am. I'll take care of it.
Are you messing with me?
No. Look at her face, and that mole. And that hair growing on it.
-I just can't. -Picky, aren't you?
Perhaps you'd prefer a queen?
-Oh just let me die! -Wait a second.
You silly boy!
Look at me.
Am I pretty?
Is she pretty?
Yes.
It's a shame he got sold.
But that’s fine since I have more to sell.
It's easily done for you. Just pick any Dumbbell.
I give you a thousand gold coins.
Stop! Hold it right there!
Whoa! Amazing!
-Where's the stone plaque? -Crouching Tiger,
the plaque you asked me to steal from the palace
-is right here. -We'll meet in three days as planned.
When the twice-blooming flower blossoms, Star of Rex appears,
Yin and Yang turn upside down, and chaos reigns.
"When the twice-blooming flower blossoms, Star of Rex appears.
Yin and Yang turn upside down, and chaos reigns."
Cordon off the area, don't let them get away!
All my Dumbbells ran away! Get them now!
Did you see my Dumbbells?
Yes, I just got a couple.
Give them back!
Stop!
What's wrong with you? You're such a scumbag.
You took my Dumbbells and yet you hit me!
You're a pain, you know that?
Give me back my Dumbbells, and I'll leave you alone.
I told you I never saw them. Stop or I'll kick your ass!
Picking a fight, aren't you? I'm not afraid of you!
Who is she?
That's none of your business.
Did you do that?
The wound doesn't look like your work.
What's your problem? Mission accomplished.
-What is it? -We got two back. The others got away.
These two? They're just skin and bones.
Beats not getting any.
You can't even make soup with them!
So you're the Thirteenth Master?
What? Have you come to apologize?
You've ruined my business. Give me back my Dumbbells!
Oh, Marshal Edo Bowman. Nice seeing you here.
So you still remember me.
Of course I remember you, it's just I'm a little short on cash these days.
That's okay. I want you to find someone for me.
If you succeed, we'll forget about your debts.
Really?
Who are you looking for?
Here, look!
It's a man.
An exceptionally important man.
-Wow! -I suppose he's handsome?
He's really very special, absolutely extraordinary.
A perfect match for the Marshal.
What's his name?
He's an actor, and he performs on the outskirts of town.
Underground performances, illegal stuff.
-How do I find him? -He's very special.
He has a particular scent of a man.
What scent of a man?
Well, it's...
different from all the other men these days.
He is just different.
Any discernible marks or characteristics?
Yes!
When he sees a pretty girl,
his ears will go "pop" and turn red.
Marshal, you look so much in love.
That's it.
Find him and bring him back to me, you understand?
What about my Dumbbells?
Temporarily confiscated.
Find me that man,
and I return every one of them to you.
Thirteenth Master, help! Save me!
Move!
What I lose today...
I shall win back tomorrow.
Red Vulture, did you ask help from the Wild Wolves tribe?
Yes, I did.
As the court's imperial enforcer,
you must not collaborate with such barbarians.
But what does it matter, High Priest?
I've accomplished all your missions.
But not by any unjust means.
How dare you lecture me? Show some respect!
You show some respect!
You're just an enforcer, you obey my orders!
I only listen to a woman's orders, never a man's.
Besides,
you're not even a real man.
Blue Bird, move aside!
High Priest, please spare her life.
From now on, you're no more an imperial enforcer.
Your Majesty.
As Commander of the Palace Guards,
where were you
when burglars broke into the Palace's secret chambers?
Your Majesty, I was at the city gate supervising work on the city walls.
Besides, Your Majesty's said the secret chambers are off limits.
After all, it's just a piece of stone.
Shut up!
I know where you were. You were at the whorehouse.
-I now sentence you to death! -Your Majesty!
Take her away and kill her!
Yes, your Majesty!
Couples, how disgusting.
Her Majesty is getting more perverse every day.
When the twice-blooming flower blossoms, Star of Rex appears,
Yin and Yang turn upside down, and chaos reigns.
So? Is anyone of them Star of Rex?
No, neither.
Kill them!
He's the only one left on the family tree of the previous dynasty.
So he must be our Star of Rex.
I'm just worried that the plaque will fall into the hands of Star of Rex.
And if he solves the riddle and finds the Excalibur,
that'll be real trouble.
Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon's rebels may have stolen the stone plaque,
but they might not know the identity of Star of Rex.
Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon might not know, but the plaque does.
That thing is spiritual, it'll find Star of Rex.
We follow the plaque and we'll find Star of Rex.
Say we find him, then what?
It's his destiny to take your throne.
Do you want to die?
Why don't you just kill me?
How can I? I haven't hated you enough.
She's your sister.
Are you feeling pain?
I...
Oh, no.
-Your wound-- -Don't touch me!
Don't ever touch me.
I don't want anything that you've laid your hands on.
Sis, the prophecy says we can win the world if we marry the emperor.
You can't possibly give up the world for love.
No, I can.
Wei Liao is my world.
Wei Liao!
Ya Ge?
Then you are...
You're Ya Ting?
Ya Ting, you'll suffer for the rest of your life!
From now on,
I want all men to live their lives in shame and misery
under my rule of fear!
Trace the stone plaque.
The eagle will lead you to the thief.
The Amazons injured his left arm
when they tried to arrest him.
When you find it, inform me immediately.
Yes, Your Highness.
Ready!
One, two, three, go!
I'm sorry. One more time.
-What's the matter with you? -I'm sorry. I miscalculated.
-Are you all right? -Punks!
You're not getting any dinner tonight.
-Where's Peachy? -I don't know.
The show's starting, where the hell is the leading lady?
Melon Seed, go put on Peachy's costume.
Master Blackwood, I promise I'll deliver this time.
One more time.
Wow! Amazing!
Once upon a time there were twin fairies.
The god wanted them to be his concubines.
But the younger sister seemed troubled.
Just made it! Where were you?
Master Blackwood was looking for you.
Hey, your hand.
It's nothing. I'm making big money with Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.
Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon? The one who is wanted?
He's great.
In three days, I'll go to Tiger Cliff to give it to him.
-And I'm not coming back. -This is--
Don't touch it! It's worth a lot of money.
Punk! Where the hell were you? You're late!
-What's worth a lot of money? -You...
-You're on. -Go get changed!
Ready. One, two, three.
Love is everything to this lady. But she cannot be with me.
When he sees a pretty girl, his ears go "pop" and turn red.
-Am I pretty? -Yes.
-What's the big idea? -Master Blackwood,
will you read my fortune?
Read your fortune? You're on!
Please, it's very important.
-What can be so important? -Marriage.
Go see it for yourself.
A white horse.
Man and beast don't match. This way.
Master Blackwood, it's so accurate!
-Accurate, huh? -Yes!
-Are you happy now? -Yes!
-Good. Now, get to work. -Sure.
Something fishy is going on. Turns out the younger sister used magic.
Hey!
-Am I pretty? -Yes.
I'm asking you seriously.
-Yes. -Put some emotion into it!
Yes, real pretty!
You need to go!
Let's go.
Weiwei, but you said you only love me!
Damn!
You are the older sister!
And you are...
Older sister, I got nothing to do with it.
He's cast a spell...
I'm not listening, I'm not. I hate you!
You've really made a mistake.
I don't want it. I don't want anything that you've touched.
Charcoal Head!
Please let me stay with you.
I won't let any man come close to me.
All right, since you hate men so much,
I'll just cut it off!
Everyone stay put!
Who said you could put on such hideous farces?
What is going on?
-Arrest them! -Yes, ma'am!
Run, son! Run!
Stop!
I'm sorry.
He's hiding there.
Come out!
Thank you.
I thought you had already found the plaque!
Have some bread.
Give me the stone plaque.
I see you're a person of substance.
After I get the Excalibur, I'll make you High Priestess.
And we'll set forth and conquer the world.
We don't travel on the same road.
All right. Stay a servant for the rest of your life.
What is it?
Peachy secretly gave it to me yesterday.
He asked me to go with him
to give it to Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon tomorrow.
And we'll make loads of money.
Do you really think this piece of rock can make us rich?
Whoa! Gems! Whoa!
We're rich.
-This is a map. -What?
Isn't it River Doei?
I know it. This is a treasure map.
The gem's position is where the treasure is hidden.
-I know it, that's the-- -Hey!
Where's Block Head? Let's grill a fish for him.
Where's Charcoal Head? Where are his things?
Gugu, you tell me.
They're taking the stone plaque to look for Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.
They said they were looking for a treasure.
Looking for a treasure? What treasure?
Look, it's done.
It doesn't seem right.
Try it again.
-Charcoal Head. -Nice weather.
I am Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.
A woman?
A white horse?
I'm gorgeous so of course I should be riding a white horse.
You came to see our show.
We underground people must be careful. This is part of the routine.
Right.
Now, give me the map.
Where's Peachy? How come I didn't see him?
I told him to look for another treasure. He's struck gold.
How lucky he is. Big shot, please take me with you.
I always travel alone.
Big shot, you can't figure it out.
I do big things. Such trivialities I always leave to my underlings.
We are your underlings.
Let us worry about these burdens. But please take us with you.
Are you threatening me?
You can come with me and lead the way.
-Who are you? -Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon
You're Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon? What about her?
Slug it out, and the winner is Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.
You came just in time.
In fact we both are Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.
What?
I'm Crouching Tiger, she Hidden Dragon.
We're sisters.
You're after the treasure, aren't you?
Let's work together. We shouldn't be competing.
We are good sisters!
What's that moustache?
It's hip, you know? Would you like half of it?
Let's go.
When we find the treasure, do we also get a share?
You get ten percent.
Are you crazy? That's way too generous!
Put them on.
We said we'd be your underlings, but not Dumbbells.
Right, we are not Dumbbells.
It's against the law for a man to walk on the streets, you idiots.
This is called disguise.
Go.
First thing first. I found out about this first.
So if we find any treasure, I get the bigger share.
Sure.
-I take 70% and you 30%. -Sure.
-No, 80 and 20. -Sure.
Why are you so generous?
Don't you get clever on me, I'm very smart.
I want to sell them off like Dumbbells.
Right. We're in the same trade. I almost forgot.
Wait. I already have a client for the prettier one.
Sure, no problem.
Look!
-Are you hungry? -Yes.
-Hey, you two. -Yes?
-Get me a rabbit for dinner. -Right away!
Over here.
Hey!
-Over here. -Over there.
-I said over there. -They're over there too!
Are you okay?
Does it hurt?
Can we not eat him?
He's injured, and he looks so cute.
Hey!
Poor thing. Sure we won't eat him.
We'll just eat you!
You're so useless. So what do we do for dinner then?
You're not so bad when it comes to fighting.
But you're no match for me when it comes to men.
I thought you were a professional.
I trade Dumbbells, I can't be serious.
I am glad you mentioned that.
Right! Men, flirt with them and leave them.
But I see you're catching some sparks from that piece of charcoal.
Have you fallen in love with him?
You're crazy.
What're you afraid of? We women do what we like.
I have zero interest on that guy.
If you don't want him, then I do.
-Be my guest. -I sure will.
Louder, show more excitement.
The truth is, Crouching Tiger...
Hey!
Master Crouching Tiger, the bed is prepared. Is there anything else?
Can I be of further service?
What's your best shot?
We can play with water like love birds.
And...
-That's enough. -My burning lips of passion...
-And then-- -That's enough.
I'm glad that my stomach wasn't so full today.
That's all right, you can go.
Since you're here, why don't you let me rub your back?
That won't be necessary.
I'm really good at it. C'mon, try it.
I said no.
I hate cheap men.
Sister Dragon, are you still mad at me? Don't be so petty.
Sister Tiger, me, getting mad over a man?
You don't know me. I'm thinking about the treasure.
-Big bucks! -We're ready.
Come here.
What're you doing? Who do you think you are?
Put them on! You're a block of wood.
Cheer up, young man.
That's women for you, they never say what they mean.
Here is the bread. Eat it before it gets cold.
Thank you.
Have some bread.
I hate bread.
Why? It's just food. It hasn't offend you.
Right?
Hey, beautiful! My name's Gorgeous, mind if I join you?
In fact, I do.
I don't care, I'm joining you.
You're pretty hip, old lady. Your moustache is just super sexy.
The beautiful lady has exquisite taste.
Let me tell you, I got this from the shop next door.
And this is 100% real hair.
Look at these two Dumbbells! How cute!
Do you want to sell them?
I'll buy them from you.
-Shut up. -No, we're not selling them to you.
Hey, lady, you're a bit too old for these two Dumbbells.
No! Let me tell you.
I'm Her Majesty's secret agent on a mission.
I am to take them back to the palace.
Her Majesty's secret agent? Do you have any proof?
Here, take a good look at it.
Here! Hey!
A piece of biscuit? Her Majesty's secret agent?
My foot!
-Who are you? -Who are you?
Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.
Another Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon?
-An imposter! -An imposter!
I'm sorry that I have offended you.
Please drink this wine and accept my apologies.
Whatever!
Did you just say that one of those punks is Star of Rex?
-Then he's the future king! -Correct!
According to the prophecy,
this stone plaque can cause Star of Rex to appear,
find the Haunted City, get the Excalibur,
overthrow the Evil Queen
and save us men from her oppression.
My mission is to protect Star of Rex and get the Excalibur.
That's great!
He is great!
You will become King, nothing to worry about.
It is a must!
What's all this excitement?
It's just talk. Nobody knows if it's real or not.
Overthrow the Evil Queen? Can you two even fight?
Forget it. Pack your things and come back to the troupe with me.
At least you'll have a steady life. Go on, get your things.
Master Blackwood.
Master Blackwood, Master Blackwood.
-Master Blackwood. -I'm not talking to you anymore.
Master Blackwood,
Will you calm down and listen to me?
-Gentlemen, can I have a light? -I don't smoke.
Very pretty, right?
Are you two going to pack or not?
Those fools almost ruined me.
You are not Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.
You want your treasure, right? Does it matter whom you go with?
Look, they are dumb and nasty. They can't tell who's good and who's bad.
Let's go.
It's not nice to leave Master Blackwood like this, is it?
Look how much fun they are having now.
When I become king, Master Blackwood won't have to worry any more.
And you can be with your dream lover.
That's really effective.
Hypnotic incense. All Dumbbell traders have it. Don't you?
-Here you go. -We can go now.
-Then get a move on. -Come on, let's go.
Charcoal Head, if I become king,
we men will no longer be slaves. But maybe you are the king.
I'm sure it's you.
Let me help you.
The royal treasure is worth loads of money, right?
I was not aware we were on such intimate terms.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not flirting with you.
Do you think I want to be queen? No, I don't. It's so tiring.
Oh, how corny. You want it bad, admit it.
I am ambitious.
Blockhead knows me best.
I really hate aggressive people.
Don't you know it's against the law to touch a woman?
I'm going to chop off your hand!
We're entering the Haunted City.
What Haunted City? I don't see any ghost.
You're a ghost, aren't you?
I'm a beautiful ghost.
Whoa!
Don't be afraid. I'll protect you.
Get up the tree.
What is this place? It gives me the creeps.
-It's the Haunted City. -Haunted?
Oh, my God, I hate ghosts.
Keep it down.
You're waking up all the ghosts.
Hold on to me!
Not too tight!
Give me the plaque.
-Red Vulture! -Run!
Why do you want to save me?
Even if we have different ambitions,
we have grown up together like sisters.
You never understood me.
Is it so important to become an Empress?
If I cannot become one during this lifetime,
I will never be a happy ghost!
Hold on, don't let go.
Hey!
I don't want to die so young.
Don't worry, we won't die.
What if I did?
Remember to hold on to my hand.
I'm afraid of being alone.
-So you're human? -Right! We are...
the Cavemen.
-I am Palupa. -I am Kakuka.
You laugh, we laugh.
You cry, we cry.
You cruel, we cruel. You kill, we kill.
You hug, we hug.
Laugh. We need to laugh.
We need to laugh.
Be passionate.
You're just hopeless!
-I told you to hold on. -It was you.
I always tell you to eat more, but you never listen.
Shut up! Shut up!
Hey!
Are you messing with me?
Let's go look for Charcoal Head.
Our ancestors used to live on the northern steppes.
We were a carefree people.
We laughed when we felt like laughing.
We cried when we felt like crying.
We loved our work. We worked hard during the day,
and partied hard at night.
But the queen got jealous.
She wouldn't let us have love.
So we hide out in these caves,
and try to go on with our lives.
But we're always hiding and running.
-We became mysterious and strange... -Weird and crazy.
And we're even afraid of the sun.
We must rebel.
-We must rebel! -We must rebel!
Calm down!
We must rebel!
-Are they yours? -Yes, thank you.
And this?
-What is it? How pretty. -Don't touch it!
Charcoal Head!
The heavy fog is giving me the creeps. Let's wait for the fog to disperse.
Charcoal Head!
Lean on the rocks, it's safer.
Blockhead!
It's us.
It's you guys?
I thought the monsters had you for lunch.
They're not monsters, they're the Cavemen. They're real fun.
What're you doing holding hands?
I see you two hugging real tight.
Are we on intimate terms?
What? You're taking advantage of me.
Where is this heavy fog coming from?
-Look, a door. -Right.
This is it, the entrance to the Grave of A Thousand Armies.
Great! We found it!
How do we open it?
This is it!
Do we need the stone plaque?
What on earth is this place?
Never mind. Let's go.
Look at all these weapons.
Where is the treasure?
There should be an Excalibur. So many swords, which one is it?
Someone's coming. Run!
C'mon! Run!
That guy is bad news!
What is it? Just a pond and four walls.
Nothing else is here.
-It's fun. -Look.
Look, it's me.
Why is it showing my past?
She cheated!
Pay up!
You even cheated your own people!
You cheated your own people!
What?
Look, there's a sword.
Right!
There's really a sword.
So you're king and I'm queen. We're going to be rich, aren't we?
Let's not get carried away and be modest.
You don't look like an ordinary warrior.
I'm Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon of the Zhengyang tribe.
I'm Lord of Armory of the former dynasty, Weicheng.
I put my money on the wrong guy.
Did I ever say I was a king?
It was you yourself who wanted to be queen.
Don't start picking on me because you can't be king!
Thank God I didn't put my body into the bargain.
I could never have forgiven myself.
-Say that again. -You've said it once, say it again.
-Blockhead, let's forget it. -Leave me!
Charcoal Head, that's a coincidence.
No way you're Star of Rex. Now, drop the sword.
I never wanted it in the first place. Blockhead, I really didn't mean it.
Put it back!
Blue Bird...
Trace the stone plaque. When you find it, inform me immediately.
Yes, your Highness.
So you're a spy.
Don't let her get away!
Are you okay?
Why?
Let go of Charcoal Head!
You work for your country as I work for mine.
You've been lying to me.
I'm sorry.
You want this sword? I don't want it! Here, take it.
Star of Rex has appeared, we're saved.
From now on you are in charge.
It really hurts.
Charcoal Head!
It wasn't intentional, It is out of my control.
Just leave.
Leave!
I don't want to be king!
King? Bullshit!
You just want money.
Younger sister just told me
that the real Star of Rex has got the Excalibur.
Don't worry,
I have it all worked out. I'll get Star of Rex and the Excalibur
To rule the world and govern the people,
one must be ruthless.
You need that personality to master the Excalibur.
A kid, still wet behind the ears,
thinks he can challenge us because he has the sword?
He's digging his own grave.
Say no more. Your eyes have already betrayed you.
You failed your mission because you got emotionally involved.
-I am no good. -Just go.
Her Majesty is so mean, why do you still stay with her?
I think there's nothing more natural than to serve the person you love.
Thirteenth Master, are you not feeling well?
Don't be so cheap! It's my heart that is sick.
Really? Then we must play doctor and patient.
I'll be the doctor. Now, cough.
Get lost! We're not playing anything.
His name is He Who Rides the Waves.
He just got here two days ago. See what lovely skin he has.
Make sure you entertain the lady well.
-He Who Rides the Waves, how charming. -Let's drink!
Get me another boy!
You don't have to be so mean.
Just pretend that nothing ever happened,
and consider me as one of those heartless playboys.
That's better. I have no money and I'm not a king.
I'm just a gigolo.
Just drink.
You enjoy wallowing in filth!
You're so fake. You just wanted to sell me off like any dumbbell.
Right. I just love money. Don't you?
Good. I'm selling you off to fatso Marshal Edo Bowman.
And I'll be rich for the rest of my life. Come on, let's go.
-Sure, let's go. -Well, go then.
Let's go.
Good seeing you here.
Marshal Edo Bowman.
Have you found that man for me?
Or should I consider your business confiscated?
Of course I've found him.
Where is he?
Bowman.
I'm here. Let's go.
Wait! What are you doing?
I don't know.
Go! I told you to go!
Stop right there!
I'm your dream lover.
Take me away and give the Thirteenth Master back her business.
Shut up!
How dare you speak to me like that?
Do you think you can send me away with just any man?
Isn't he the man you want?
Well, he does have a certain manliness.
I'll take him! Consider this as interest.
Hey!
You wish! He's mine now.
Have you fallen in love with a Dumbbell?
Yes. I fell in love with a Dumbbell, so what?
A Dumbbell trader falling in love with a Dumbbell.
What's so funny? Is there a law against it?
You can forget about your business, it's confiscated.
Be my guest. I don't want it anyway.
Now you're poor like me.
Says who?
I have you. I only have to sell you and I'll be rich again.
You don't mind?
No, I don't mind.
Ouch!
What're you doing here?
I want to tell you I'm no longer a servant of the queen.
And please tell Charcoal Head
that even with the Excalibur, he's still no match for the queen.
Tell him not to get himself killed.
Never mind if it's true or not, we must tell Charcoal Head.
Okay? Come on!
-Hey! -What?
Dressed like this?
But I'm gorgeous, am I not?
Yes, just hurry.
I knew she'd fallen for Star of Rex.
Take them to the secret chamber.
I've known it all along that you'd fall for Star of Rex.
Do you want to entice him to be here?
High Priest, please spare him.
He is no match for the queen.
I want the Excalibur.
So you want to be king.
What king?
When the twice-blooming flower blossoms, Star of Rex appears.
Yin and Yang turn upside down, and chaos reigns.
The twice-blooming flower...
it blossoms and dies at my command.
Elder sister, it's all my fault.
Wei Liao never betrayed you.
Please forgive him.
Forgive him?
Elder sister...
I'm sorry.
There's no turning back for me.
Only you understand me.
Take it from me, you two...
when there's love, there's also hate.
Leaders of the tribes,
Star of Rex has got the Excalibur.
Tomorrow, we attack the Kingdom of Amazons
and overthrow the Evil Queen.
You want us to follow Star of Rex into war?
But look at him.
He's a bit henpecked, but he sure lives well.
People get killed in wars.
Getting killed is not so bad.
You can't imagine how horrible it is if you end up like me.
Master Blackwood, is that you?
Help me.
I know everything about you.
I just want to say a few words to everyone.
Who are you?
I am not human.
I am a freak.
What are you talking about?
Charcoal Head, don't be afraid.
Now you've seen what the Evil Queen has done to me.
To change men into women,
she experimented a sex change operation on me.
And I ended up neither man nor woman.
If you keep sitting on the fence,
the next freak may well be you!
You! Or you!
Or you!
We'll attack from both sides.
For the King and the Empire, we'll give our lives!
Charcoal Head!
Charcoal Head.
Master Blackwood.
I'm sorry.
Never mind that. The queen's got Blue Bird and Thirteenth Master.
Charcoal Head, a good king does not think only about himself.
Since we dare to come here, we are prepared to die.
Formations!
Hold it!
Edo Bowman!
This man here, I'll not spare him!
I miss you so much!
I thought I’d never see you again in this life.
Stop crying. You don't look so pretty when you cry.
Your ears, they are still so sexy.
Hush, there are people here.
Marshal, are we going into battle or not?
-No. -No.
Yes! We must!
We're joining our forces.
After we overthrow the Evil Queen, we can go back to live a normal life.
Don't worry.
We're overthrowing the Evil Queen, not women in general.
There'll be equality between men and women,
and freedom for everyone!
There'll be romance, and we'll dare to love and hate!
-Yes! -Yes!
Down with the Evil Queen!
-Yes! -Yes!
The queen's casting her spell! Run for cover!
Run! Go where there's sunshine! Quick!
I'm not going anywhere! I am going to stay with you!
I'm not going anywhere!
I don't care what we change into, I'm not leaving.
Your Majesty, the palace is just behind this gate.
-Are you okay? -It hurts.
-Thirteenth Master! -Blue Bird!
Thirteenth Master!
Blue Bird!
Thirteenth Master!
Blue Bird!
How come they turn into two crazy ladies?
What are you doing?
What're you doing?
Charcoal Head, don't!
Charcoal Head!
Hang in there! Charcoal Head!
Don't...
Charcoal Head!
Are you okay?
Blue Bird, it's me, Charcoal Head.
It's me!
Blue Bird!
Thirteenth Master, are you possessed?
Stop playing around. It's me, Blockhead!
Blue Bird, No!
Charcoal Head, what are you doing on the floor?
What's going on?
You were under a spell and tried to kill us.
-It hurts. -You were grabbing me like a lunatic.
What lunatic? Why would I grab you?
Oh, no!
Hey!
Wake up!
It hurts so much.
Are you okay?
Someone put me inside a sack and beat me up.
Look, I'm bruised all over.
-It was Blockhead-- -Quiet!
Are you two okay?
I should be the one asking you.
You're so disgusting. Stop it and let's get out of here.
Wait, Charcoal Head.
-You go get the sword. -Don't let it fall into the queen's hands.
-Charcoal Head! -Charcoal Head!
Blockhead, get some fire to save Charcoal Head!
-You go get the sword. -What?
I'll stall the queen. Quick!
Charcoal Head! Charcoal Head!
Go away!
Are you okay, Charcoal Head?
-We can still... -Charcoal Head?
Are you okay?
Hang in there! Charcoal Head!
-We can do it! -We can do it!
We can do it!
Charcoal Head, don't!
You don't have the heart?
Are you giving up the world for someone who's lied to you?
Even giving up your own life?
Charcoal Head, don't mind me! Bring the sword down on us!
I don't want to die!
Another useless man.
Wei Liao...
show him how to lift the sword and castrate himself, just like you did.
Then perhaps I'll spare his life.
She's prepared to die for you.
If you don't kill the queen with the Excalibur,
her hatred will torture Blue Bird for all eternity.
That's right, sacrifice yourself for love.
Charcoal Head, don't give the sword to Wei Liao. He wants to be king!
So you've been lying to me?
You've been lying to me all along?
It's now or never.
You've been lying to me!
Close your eyes, I'll help you.
Pick up the sword.
Are you okay?
I'm okay.
This is the only way
to change you back into Ya Ge.
Don't be afraid.
I'll always be by your side.
I'll never leave you.
Never.
I've never lied to you.
Not even once.
It doesn't matter what we changed into,
but do you mind getting off me?
I can't take it anymore.
We changed... changed into what?
Oh, my! It's gone!
It's gone! Charcoal Head must have won. I will be fine now.
Charcoal Head really is something.
Giving up his throne to enjoy life
and leaving me the kingdom to administer.
I never thought I could just fold my arms and do nothing.
How about this? We work alternate days.
No way. Heavy duty stuff is men's job.
Not really.
Better make a prince quickly to share some of the work.
-Sure, when? -How about now?
-Now? -Right.
-How? With all these people watching? -What does it matter? I'm king.
-Good enough? -No.
The future is in the hands of these young people.
-Isn't it beautiful? -Yes, but a little cold.
We're almost there.
They've given birth to twins.
That won't do, we must do something about it.
Get out of here!
Why are you with me? Don't you want to be king?
You know.
Tell me again, lest I forget.
I love you so much that I don't have time to be king.
-You fool, let's go. -Sure!